Spreading wings in a perplexing world
July, 2025 James P. Hurd
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Contents
- Writer’s Corner
- Blessed Unbeliever
- This month’s story: “On A Roll”
- This month’s puzzler: light switches
- WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
- Wisdom
Writer’s Corner
Writer’s tip: Start your novel or story in media res (“in the middle of things”). For instance, you could start it just before or just after a crisis, peaking the reader’s interest. You can then double back and tell the story more chronologically.
Word of the month: NERDSPLAINING (I made this one up!) This refers to a very intelligent person explaining something but using words and ideas you’ve never heard of.
Task for you: Write a story of 100 words without using any adjectives or adverbs (good practice in using fewer, more direct words). Here’s a prompt: The most unusual holiday I ever spent.
BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel
Available in paper or Kindle version at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.
New story: “On A Roll”
After flying to San Francisco, embracing my dear California sister and catching up on our lives, I get up to use the bathroom. It smells fresh and has a new towel laid out. But when I reach for the toilet paper, it’s facing the wall—backwards!
I’ve known Anne all my life―her opposite political persuasion, her preference for a different kind of church. None of this ever came between us. But the toilet paper shakes me. Where did she learn this? I don’t remember this happening in our childhood home. If she does this to the toilet paper what else is she hiding? Uncontrolled passive aggression? Anger issues? Never before have I noticed any serious issues. Did she do it on purpose? . . .
To read more, click here: https://jimhurd.com/2025/07/15/on-a-roll/
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Access more of my articles on Substack: https://jameshurd.substack.com/publish/post/164503545
This month’s puzzler (thanks to “Car Talk” puzzlers)
This one is complicated, so make sure you concentrate!
There are three on/off switches on the wall on the first floor of a building.
You can tell when they’re switched on or off because they are either clicked up for on, or down for off, like a light switch.
You don’t know which of these three switches controls an incandescent lamp on the third floor of the building. The other two are not connected to anything and don’t do anything at all.
You are allowed to toggle the switches on or off as many times as you please.
Further, you are allowed to walk just once to the third floor to check the lamp to see if it is on or not.
So, how can you know which switch controls the lamp on the third floor?
(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)
Answer to last month’s puzzler:
What was the man buying in the hardware store if one costs 60 cents, but 200 costs only $1.80?
He was buying house numbers, the little numbers you put on your house!
He lives at house number 200. So he just needs three numbers: a two and two zeros. Three times 60 cents equals $1.80.
Good one.
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Wisdom
Musings on Love
- “Love is sharing your popcorn.” – Charles Schultz
- “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
- “Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.” – Thomas Dewar
- “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Anonymous
- “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” – Tim Allen
- “Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.” – Anonymous
- “Love is being stupid together.” – Paul Valery
- “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni
- “Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.” – Anonymous
- “My wife and I were happy for twenty years – then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
- “My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” – Jimmy Durante
- “Love is the only kind of fire that is never covered by insurance.” – Anonymous
- “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
The joys of family life
- “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
- “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
- “Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano
- “A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.” – Robert A. Heinlein
- “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” – Anonymous
- “Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.” – Homer Simpson
- “Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits until the rest of the family brings the car back.” – Earl Wilson
- “A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.” – Ogden Nash
- “Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” – Harry Morgan
- “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” – George Carlin
- “The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.” – George Santayana
Classic One-Liners
- “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Anonymous
- “Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’” – Charlie Brown
- “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
- “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
- “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Anonymous
- “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
- “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Anonymous
- “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
- “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
- “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Anonymous
- “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx
- “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde
- “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
Wingspread 
