Tag Archives: Ezine

WINGSPREAD Zine for August, 2026


Spreading your wings in a postmodern world

August 2026                  James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this zine with others. Thank you.

The world is a beautiful, mysterious, and sometimes disappointing place. This zine is dedicated to exploring that awesome mystery.

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever novel
  • This month’s story
  • This month’s puzzler:
  • WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Dedicated to the world of words and the people who use them.

Want to browse archived WINGSPREAD stories? Click under “archives” at https://jimhurd.com/   These stories include memoirs, stories about bush flying, and personal essays. You can type keywords in the webpage “search” function.

Here are a few examples:

Identity Crisis  https://jimhurd.com/2024/08/16/identity-crisis/

Churched atheists  https://jimhurd.com/2023/08/31/churched-atheists/

Harold dates Darla  https://jimhurd.com/2022/07/16/harold-dates-darla/

Writer’s tip: When do you put commas between modifying adjectives? If you can interject “and,” use a comma: “the strong, muscular dog” [You could say “the strong AND muscular dog.”]. But, “The little furry cat” [Here, “AND” makes no sense so don’t use a comma]

Word of the Month:  TINTINABULATION: a ringing or tinkling sound. Was it Poe’s poem, “The Bells,” where I first saw this word? Warning: never use any word merely to show off your literary knowledge. Use it because it best fits what you wish to say. And use these “hard” words very sparingly.

Metaphor of the month:  Her hard, steady gaze could strip paint off a wall.

Streaming series of the month: GRANTCHESTER. On Prime. Set in Cambridge, England, a Chief Inspector and a vicar of the Church of England team up to solve thorny murder mysteries, share family problems and tragedies, and occasionally get drunk together.

Digital resources: Today, I queried Google’s AI, and learned the names of my great-grandfather’s ancestors, plus learned the name of the first Hurd immigrant—John Hurd—who arrived in Boston and traveled to Connecticut a few years after the Pilgrims landed. So many searches, including searches for punctuation and grammar, are faster if you start with AI. (Disclaimer: AI will unclothe our privacy, take over our lives and destroy civilization, but, hey, it probably won’t happen this year.)

Task for you: Use AI today to deepen your knowledge of a time in history or a geographical place that you wish to incorporate into your writings.

Interested in deep insights on grief, recovery and mental health? Here is a site of one who has “walked the walk” —https://hopefullykimberly.substack.com/?r=5ol0ai&utm_campaign=subscribe-page-share-screen&utm_medium=web   (Okay, fine; she’s my daughter, but give her a look.)

Speaking biblically, life is a constant struggle. For instance, navigating the jungle of Medicare prescription options and payments, managing a budget amidst rising prices, or pilgriming through the puzzling aisles of the supermarket. Or, you might stress out over taking a driving test. But you need to realize that the real challenge isn’t passing a driving test―it’s figuring out how to gas up.

I think back to five years ago. I stop at Holiday to fill up, clutching my five-cent Holiday discount coupon in one hand and my Cub discount card in the other, along with my CitiBank credit card. Holiday’s coupon should save me five cents a gallon, Cub’s card should give me another per gallon discount for the groceries we bought. Separately, CitiBank/Costco gives me 4 percent savings. But the pump won’t scan the five-cent discount card, so I walk in.

Me: Can I use this five-cent Holiday discount coupon and also my Cub card discount for gas?

He: Yep. But you can’t scan the discount coupon at the pump.

Me: Okay. I’ll pump my gas, then come in and pay.

He: We don’t do that anymore. You have to either prepay or use your credit card at the pump. . . . To read more, click here: https://jimhurd.com/2026/08/20/fueling-follies/

Leave a comment, subscribe and share with others. Thanks. You can also access my articles on Substack: https://jameshurd.substack.com/ 

Every day, I pass an ordinary-looking commercial building with a big sign advertising the company . And every time I see it, I laugh.

Why? Because the name of the company seems completely wrong for the building. In fact, if you went inside and asked them to demonstrate the product they sell, they couldn’t do it.

But take a few steps next door, and they could demonstrate it perfectly.

Here’s the kicker: every one of us has used this product, and some of us use it every day.

So the question is:

What does the company sell, and why can’t they demonstrate it in their own building?

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Why does a driver in Kansas who is driving to California see beautiful golden flowers if he looks right, but sees only green when he looks left, considering it’s the same crop of flowers?  At noontime in the Northern Hemisphere, the sun is not overhead; it’s in the south. What the driver is seeing is heleitropism. That’s the tendency for flowers to turn and face the sun. The plants on the left side of the road are turned away from me and facing the sun. And the plants on the right are turned toward me and facing the sun. And the crop is sunflowers. So when I look to my right, I see the yellow flower. When I look to the left, I see the green backs of the sunflowers. Good one!
(Just to make you feel worse, I put this puzzler to my granddaughter, who guessed the answer immediately. But to be fair, she’s engaged in agricultural research.)

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurdjames1941@gmail.com  and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Three one-liners that qualified three Mission Aviation Fellowship pilots in Sentani, Irian Jaya, into the local hangar Optimist Club, back in 1970. The three were John Hood, Dave Hoisington, and Jerry Reeder.
(**Personal note: I trained in the Moody Aviation program with Dave and Jerry.)

  • I’ve always looked for the worst in everything and never yet been disappointed.
  • There’s never been a cloud so bright I couldn’t find the dark side of it.
  • Trudging along in uncomplaining disappointment.

Mostly modern words:

  • tranche [rhymes with “blanch”; a portion of something)
  • feckless (irresponsible; lacking initiative),
  • diffident (modest or shy),
  • doomscrolling (obsessively scrolling social media for bad news)
  • doxxing (trying to discredit a person by doing a thorough background check)
  • sus (from “suspect,” rhymes with “bus”; questionable, dishonest )
  • rizz (charm, flirt—she has rizz; he was rizzing her up)

WINGSPREAD Zine for July, 2026

Spreading your wings in a postmodern world
July 2026             James P. Hurd

The world is a beautiful, mysterious, and sometimes disappointing place. This zine is dedicated to helping navigate the journey.

  • This month’s puzzler:
  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever novel
  • New story of the month
  • WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Please forward and share this zine with others. Thank you.

I welcome your memes, quotes and story ideas. Please keep ‘em coming. I’ll use some of them in my zine! Hurdjames1941@gmail.com

Last summer I was driving cross country from the east coast to the west coast and I was somewhere in Kansas around noontime. For miles, I am surrounded by farms that are raising a single crop. It’s beautiful to look at but confusing to understand. When I look to my right, I see fields of yellow. When I look to my left, I see fields of green. And yet, a single crop is being grown. Explain.
(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

So, why could a locomotive handle eighty cars, but not sixty cars on this particular route?

Here is the answer.

It wasn’t that the engine was weaker with fewer cars, and it wasn’t a limitation of the locomotive at all.

It’s because the extra cars actually helped push the train.

The real reason is that the route had a series of closely spaced hills.

And when the train had only sixty cars, the engine had to pull all of them uphill at once, and it struggled as it reached the top.

But when the train had 80 cars, the last twenty cars were still going downhill on the previous hill.

And because of gravity, those cars were actually pushing the rest of the train forward.

So instead of just pulling, the engine was getting help from behind.

That extra push made it possible to get over the hill.

So, strangely enough, a longer train worked better than a shorter one.

Dedicated to the world of words and the people who use them.

Want to browse archived WINGSPREAD stories? Click under “archives” at https://jimhurd.com/   These stories include memoirs, stories about bush flying, and personal essays. You can type keywords in the webpage “search” function.

Here are a few samples:

The Snow Sermon       https://jimhurd.com/2025/05/01/the-snow-sermon-2/

Get Thee Behind Me, Satan—and Push         https://tinyurl.com/ykpu6mpp

Retirement Surprise                                        https://jimhurd.com/2015/11/

Forthcoming―a new book of my stories, blogs and essays, new and old. Some samples―”Egg McMuffin Miracle,” “Churched Atheists,” “Gaming Airport Security.” I’ll keep you posted on the release date.

Writer’s tip: Never lose the reader. If you use backstories or flashbacks, clearly signal this time change to the reader. Give them a map, a bright blue line, that guides them through your story.

Word of the Month:  THROATCLEARING This refers to the common practice of writing a throw-away “warmup” paragraph before jumping into what you wish to write about. My favorite example was an editor’s critique of the first paragraphs of a book draft. The book was the story of immigrants who settled in Wisconsin. It begins with their arrival in New York and their train trip to Wisconsin. The editor: “I feel like I’m on a train traveling to where the story begins.” Here are other examples of throatclearing: “I think that . . .” [Of course you do; you’re writing the essay] “It seems to me that . . .” “The thing is that . . .”

Digital resources: Say you’re writing about your life thirty years ago and you can’t remember or don’t know something, like, “When do Bougainvillea bloom in Southern California?” Don’t worry; AI will tell you! You don’t want factual or chronological anomalies in your memoir—it distracts your readers.

TV series of the month: Miss Marple (Britbox)The adventures of an elderly spinster (Marple) as she quietly and brilliantly helps the police solve murders in a small village in Cornwall. Also on Britbox: All the episodes of Father Brown, based on the novels by G.K. Chesterton. (I like the movies better than the original written stories.)

Task for you: Scour your whole piece for passive verbs.  (e.g., “has been duped,” “was tattled on,” “truth is spoken”) In fact, I scan my whole piece to identify the following verbs and try to replace them with more active verbs: is, was, were, has, had, have, be, been, etc. You don’t want your characters being something; much better to have them doing something.

#hashtags:  #blessedunbeliever #christianwriter #babyloss #southerncalifornia #planes #aviation #humanist #pilotlife #religion #travel #aviationgeek #orangecounty #godless #atheism, #latinamericaAn Excerpt from Blessed Unbeliever

Late one night Sean McIntosh sat alone, gazing out the window of Norbert dorm prayer room, trying hard not to pray. Why am I in a prayer room? he asked himself. I don’t even believe God exists—I’m like a Nazi in a synagogue. He smelled the humid carpet and a chill gripped him—was the radiator working? I guess you don’t ever become a perfect atheist; you just work harder and harder at it. Am I working hard enough? He slammed his fist down on the table. “Damn it—tonight I’ll burn some bridges.”

He walked in stocking feet down the hall to fetch the steel wastebasket from his dorm room along with some bath towels, a paper bag, a jar of water and a book of matches he’d picked up from a restaurant. And his Bible. Propping a chair under the knob of the closed prayer room door, his hands trembled as he picked the Bible up and opened to the inscription on the flyleaf: “For you, Son, on your twelfth birthday. God bless you. Love, Mom.” This black leather Scofield Bible symbolized his fundamentalist Christian life. But tonight he was leaving it all behind. Why couldn’t he just throw it away? No, he had to do something more, something to make a clean break with his past.

His heart faltered as he heard footsteps outside, probably someone going to the bathroom. Grasping his Bible by the spine, he struck a match and held it under the hanging pages. When they curled and blazed into flame, he dropped the burning mass into the wastebasket. He stuffed some towels in the crack under the door. Coughing, he ran over and opened the window, hoping no one would smell the smoke. It seemed to him that the smoky smell, along with his childhood faith, was pouring out the window and disappearing into thin air. He felt the loss but at the same time felt empowered by his action.

When the smoke died down, he poured in the jar of water, heard the steam hiss and then sat a long time in one of the wooden chairs trembling. In his desperation he’d done the deed, committed the sacrilege, put into action his atheism—the boldest thing he’d ever done. And he’d done it in this sacred place of prayer. Henceforth his “Christian faith” would only be an act.

He scooped out the sodden mass and put it in the paper bag, trying to wipe the condemning wet ashes from his hands. Opening the prayer room door and looking both ways down the hall, he walked down to the men’s bathroom and stuffed the bag deep into the trash can. Just then he looked up at the mirror and saw a bulky form walk in and enter one of the stalls. Dean Winters! He must be on overnight duty this week. Sean panicked. He quickly washed the stains off his hands, hoping no lingering smoke smell would betray him, hoping Winters wouldn’t notice the soggy, burnt mass in the trash can. Then he crept back to his dorm room, threw himself on his bed exhausted and said out-loud, “I’ll never believe in God again. . . .”

Available in paper or Kindle version at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o, or order it wherever good books are sold.

Just a small spring, oval-shaped and rimmed with stones. And yet when our friend Rachel’s husband was dying of cancer, they would visit this spring and walk around its rim.

Rachel is the admin in the Department of Anthropology at Durham University, England, where I was a visiting fellow. She suggests to Barbara and me that we take a Saturday ramble to Holystone Spring. For her, this little pool represents peace amidst her grief and she is kind enough to introduce us. She and her husband were self-described agnostics, and yet, this spring became for them a sacred place. . . .

To read more, click here: https://jimhurd.com/2026/07/22/pilgrimage-to-holystone-spring/

Leave a comment on the website, subscribe and share with others. Thanks.

You can also access my postings on Substack: https://jameshurd.substack.com/p/pilgrimage-to-holystone-spring

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread zine, send an email to hurdjames1941@gmail.com  and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

  • The guy’s pants were so tight it looked like he’d been vacuum-packed into them by an Italian with a grudge.  (Thanks to D. Breneman for this one.)
  • Abraham Lincoln (defending his appearance after being called two-faced):
    “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

Justice & Wisdom

  • Micah 6:8 – “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
  • Galatians 6:7 – “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”
  • Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Writers’ Humor

  • Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
  • Mark Twain: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
  • Dorothy Parker: “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

Wisdom & Perspective

  • Socrates: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”
  • Albert Einstein: “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
  • Confucius: “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Resilience & Action

  • Winston Churchill: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
  • Nelson Mandela: “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

Famous insults

  • Oscar Wilde (on a fellow writer):
    “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
  • Mark Twain (on the death of a politician):
    “I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a very nice letter saying I approved of it.”
  • Truman Capote (criticizing Jack Kerouac’s writing method):
    “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”
  • Dorothy Parker (on an actress’s emotional range):
    “She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”

Shakespearian insults

  • Henry IV
    “You starfish, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!”
  • King Lear:
    “A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave!”
  • As You Like It:
    “I do desire we may be better strangers.”

Comfort & Peace

  • Psalm 23:1 – “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”
  • Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Love & Compassion

  • John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
  • Luke 6:31 (The Golden Rule) – “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

Faith & Guidance

  • Proverbs 3:5 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”
  • Romans 8:28 – “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good…”
  • Hebrews 11:1 – “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
  • Matthew 6:34 – “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.”

Pilgrimage to Holystone Spring

Grey towers of Durham,
Yet well I love thy mixed and massive piles,
Half church of God, half castle ‘gainst the Scot,
And long to roam these venerable aisles,
With records stored of deeds long since forgot.

―From Sir Walter Scott,
etched on the Prebends Bridge, Durham

Just a small spring, oval-shaped and rimmed with stones. And yet when Rachel’s husband was dying of cancer, they would visit this spring and walk around its rim. Both were self-described agnostics, yet Holystone Spring became for them a sacred place.

Rachel, admin in the Department of Anthropology at Durham University where I was a visiting fellow, suggests to Barbara and me that we take a Saturday ramble to the spring. For her, this little pool provides peace amidst her grief, and she is kind enough to introduce us.

She drives us along winding roads through pasturelands of sheep and cattle bounded by dry stone fences. She points to a cave near a river. “That’s where Cuthbert, a seventh-century Celtic monk, used to live and pray.” We eventually leave the paved road and drive through a cattle gate and across a field to stop near a small wood. This is not a tourist spot―we see no one else. Exiting the car, we walk to a stone fence and open a gate. Walking into the wood, we enter a circle of seven large beech trees and come to a small, oval pool that holds the waters of Holystone Spring. I dip my hand into the cool, clear waters. On the margins grow bright yellow monkeyflowers, watercress and celandine that flourish in this cool shade. A Celtic stone cross rises out of the waters, placed here in Victorian times to honor early Celtic missionaries. On the edge of the spring stands a gray stone statue of Bishop Paulinus that was carved in the fifteenth century. Legends tell of him baptizing thousands of Northumbrians here in this place where Roman cavalrymen used to water their horses.

We circle the spring in silence, enjoying the coolness of the wood, seeing the sun’s sparkle on the still waters, examining the cross and statue, honoring the memory of Rachel’s husband and respecting this place holy to her and to the thousands of pilgrims who have visited over the centuries.

In the early twelfth century Holystone became the home of a priory of Augustinian canonesses. They took charge of the famous spring and christened it “Lady’s Well,” after the Virgin Mary. But in 1541, Henry VIII abolished their monastery (along with many others all over England) and ordered their buildings razed during what became known as the “Dissolution of Monasteries.” All that remains today is an excavated site that reveals the thick, ancient walls.

So can we call Holystone Spring a “sacred site?” It is a place where pilgrims come to meditate, a place of great spiritual importance over the centuries. Ironic that it lies here hidden, a silent witness to the men and women whose lives were changed here forever.

As we depart, I smile, thinking back to my fundamentalist childhood in California. I treasure the Bible knowledge I gained, the orientation toward Christ and the gospel, the moral guidance. And yet we had no holy objects, no “saints,” no pilgrimages, no treasured studies of church history, no sacraments and no sacred places (we used to play chess on the communion table). Fundamentalism was evangelizing and missionizing, Bible- and doctrine-based, accompanied by strict lifestyle prohibitions (no smoking, drinking, dancing or going to movies). I treasure that early formation, but if I had only one day to live, and could choose one place in all the world to visit, I would choose Holystone Spring.

WINGSPREAD Zine for April, 2026

Spreading your wings in a postmodern world
April 2026                               James P. Hurd

Please forward, and share this zine with others. Thank you.

The world is a strange, beautiful, mysterious and sometimes disappointing place. This zine is dedicated to that mystery.

CONTENTS

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever novel
  • This month’s story
  • This month’s puzzler:
  • WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

WRITER’S CORNER

Dedicated to the world of words and to the people who love them.

Writer’s tip: If you’re writing fiction or even memoir, remember—if you don’t have conflict, you don’t have a story. Think Downton Abbey. There’s always a problem—shunned love, dangerous secrets, great loss, unwelcome change, upstairs/downstairs troubles, money problems, legal problems. You get the idea—if there’s no conflict, you don’t have a story.

Want to browse archived WINGSPREAD stories? Click under “archives” at https://jimhurd.com/   These stories include memoirs, stories about bush flying, and personal essays. You can typeany keywords in the webpage “search” function.

Here are a few examples:
“Once Again to Colombia” (mission trip to Cartagena) https://jimhurd.com/2016/02/08/once-again-to-colombia/   

“Brave New World of Cooking” (single again; how does one learn to cook?) https://jimhurd.com/2025/03/

Word of the Month: SANEWASHING

The act of minimizing the perceived radical aspects of a person or idea in order to make them appear more acceptable to a wider audience. His loyalists constantly sanewashed his comments and actions.

Metaphor of the month: “He was the kind of man that destiny had a serious grudge against.”

 Digital resources: Use AI to do background research for your stories and memoirs. E.g., “What were the streets that ran by the old Madison Elementary School?” “What are the trees native to northern California?” “What was the date John F. Kennedy was shot?”

TV series of the month: OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. Based on the eponymous book by Charles Dickens. Greed, treachery, death, young love, charity, secrets, beauty. Follow John Harmon as he conceals his identity and pursues the beautiful yet prideful young Bella. Four longer episodes on the BBC streaming service. (The BBC streaming service is wonderful! Christie’s Piorot, Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, Chesterton’s Father Brown, Jane Austin’s stories, Shakespeare and many others.)

Task for you: Start a list of metaphors you have heard or read that you love. When you write your next story, glance over your list and see if you can use any of them. Send me your best finds.

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

An Excerpt from Blessed Unbeliever

Late one night Sean McIntosh sat alone, gazing out the window of Norbert prayer room, trying hard not to pray. Why am I in a prayer room? he asked himself. I don’t even believe God exists—I’m like a Nazi in a synagogue. He smelled the humid carpet and a chill gripped him—was the radiator working? I guess you don’t ever become a perfect atheist; you just work harder and harder at it. Am I working hard enough? He slammed his fist down on the table. “Damn it—tonight I’ll burn some bridges.”

He walked in stocking feet down the hall to fetch the steel wastebasket from his dorm room along with some towels, a paper bag, a jar of water and a book of matches he’d picked up from a restaurant. And his Bible. Propping a chair under the knob of the closed prayer room door, his hands trembled as he picked the Bible up and opened to the inscription on the flyleaf: “For you, Son, on your twelfth birthday. God bless you. Love, Mom.” This black leather Scofield Bible symbolized his fundamentalist Christian life. But tonight, he was leaving it all behind. Why couldn’t he just throw it away? No, he had to do something more, something to make a clean break with his past.

His heart faltered as he heard footsteps outside, probably someone going to the bathroom. Grasping his Bible by the spine, he struck a match and held it under the hanging pages. When they curled and blazed into flame, he dropped the burning mass into the wastebasket. He stuffed some towels in the crack under the door. Coughing, he ran over and opened the window, hoping no one would smell the smoke. It seemed to him that the acrid smell, along with his childhood faith, was pouring out the window and disappearing into thin air. He felt the loss but at the same time felt empowered by his action.

When the smoke died down, he poured in the jar of water, heard the steam hiss and then sat a long time in one of the wooden chairs trembling. In his desperation he’d done the deed, committed the sacrilege, put into action his atheism—the boldest thing he’d ever done. And he’d done it in this sacred place of prayer. Henceforth his “Christian faith” would only be an act.

He scooped out the sodden mass and put it in the paper bag, trying to wipe the condemning wet ashes from his hands. Opening the prayer room door and looking both ways down the hall, he walked down to the men’s bathroom and stuffed the bag deep into the trash can. Just then he looked up at the mirror and saw a bulky form walk in and enter one of the stalls. Dean Winters! He must be on overnight duty this week. Sean panicked. He quickly washed the stains off his hands, hoping no lingering smoke smell would betray him, hoping Winters wouldn’t notice the soggy, burnt mass in the trash can. Then he crept back to his dorm room, threw himself on his bed exhausted and said out-loud, “I’ll never believe in God again. . . .”

#hashtags:  #blessedunbeliever #christianwriter #babyloss #southerncalifornia #planes #aviation #humanist #pilotlife #religion #travel #aviationgeek #orangecounty #godless #atheism, #latinamerica

Available in paper or Kindle version at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or order it wherever good books are sold.

NEW STORY: AN AMISH DEATH

White buggy at the Belleville auction

Melinda Yoder, sister to the Amish bishop, has died. Since the church does not practice embalming, she must be buried within twenty-four hours. I have never met Melinda, but I have been living for several months in the home of her nephew, Eli. Today I go to her funeral, accompanied by Shirley Renno, one of her distant Mennonite relatives.

We drive into the barnyard on a bitter cold day to find some snow on the ground and many white buggies parked near Melinda’s farmhouse. The smell of tobacco drifts over from where some older men stand near the barn, rolling cigarettes and smoking. They all wear black hats, long-sleeved pullover shirts and brown pants and coats. Lacking suspender or belt, the pants are snugged with lacing in the back. We walk into the house to see a wooden coffin resting in the middle of the living room on two saw horses. I remove my hat. The Amish are a closed society, but sometimes a funeral draws many English (non-Amish) people. In this case, Shirley and I are the only outsiders. . . . 

To read more, click here: https://tinyurl.com/5xnwpxfk

Leave a comment on the website, subscribe and share with others. Thanks.

You can also access my articles on Substack: James’s Substack | Substack  

THIS MONTH’S PUZZLER, THANKS TO “cAR tALK”

This story is “The Bridge of Tom and Ray.” Here we go.

In Borneo, there is a bridge connecting two islands constructed of bamboo lashed together with hemp.

It’s been used for hundreds of years, pedestrian traffic, vehicular traffic, both directions. It’s four miles long.

Now this bridge has a weight limit of 20 tons.

One day, a truck filled with pigs pulls up to the bridge. Officials stop him and let him know they have to weigh the truck, due to the weight limit.

So the truck drives onto the scale. Turns out that with all the pigs, and the driver, this truck weighs exactly 20 tons. 

The guy at the other end gets the signal and he stops all other traffic. Everyone has to stop.

The bridge is emptied, and this guy is allowed to drive over the bridge alone.

He is right at the limit, at 20 tons, so he has to drive over completely alone. 

As he drives across, a sparrow begins to follow alongside, flying in the air along with the truck. 

The sparrow begins to hover over the truck, flapping its wings. When he’s a little beyond the halfway point, the sparrow lands on the truck.

What does the driver do at that moment to keep the truck from plunging into the water? 

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Okay, so, what quick adjustment did the mechanic make that enabled Jeffersonville Fire Department to take home the trophy in the race?

Because they were racing counterclockwise around a track, he wanted to make it so that the Jeffersonville truck would be able to negotiate those constant left hand turns easier than the East Norriton truck.

So without using any tools, he simply let a little air out of the left side tires of the Jeffersonville truck. 

Because if you have low pressure in one of your tires, your car will tend to pull in that direction.

So since they are going counter clockwise, that means a lot of left turns. And with the tires just a little light on the left side, the truck wants to go in that direction anyway. 

And this way, they were able to win their competition.

Not sure that is truly legal, but we are going with it anyway!

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Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

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WISDOM

I will go out and carve a tunnel of hope from a mountain of despair.
                                                                        Martin Luther King Jr.

The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible.                                                                                                                                                                                    Albert Einstein

We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
            Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.
                                                            Lucille S. Harper

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
                                                            Frank Leahy

On the outside, even donkey droppings are shiny.
Old Chinese folk saying

Nothing human can be strange to man.
Claude Levi-Strauss, anthropologist

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

…Out of self to love be led…
            John Greenleaf Whittier, from “Andrew Rykman’s Prayer”

WINGSPREAD Zine for March, 2026

Please forward and share this zine with others. Thank you.

The world is a strange, beautiful, mysterious and sometimes disappointing place. This zine is dedicated to that mystery.

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever 
  • This month’s story:
  • This month’s puzzler:
  • WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Want to browse archived WINGSPREAD stories? Click under “archives” at https://jimhurd.com/   These stories include memoirs, stories about my fundamentalist childhood, bush flying, personal essays and other topics. You can type keywords in the “search” function.

Here are a few samples:

“Why Do I Make Stupid Mistakes?” https://jimhurd.com/?s=stupid+mistakes

“The Snow Sermon” https://jimhurd.com/?s=snow+sermon

“Identity Crisis” (Who am I?) https://jimhurd.com/?s=identity

Writer’s tip: Practice the pause. Set your piece aside for a couple of weeks; then come back to it with fresh eyes and ideas.

Word of the Month: LOOKSMAXXING.
Majoring on hair, skin, clothes—striving for “the look.”

.Metaphor of the month: “He’s the kind of man that destiny had a serious grudge against.”

Digital resources: If you have a question about your writing—character development, plot, paragraphing, grammar, word use—first try querying an AI site such as ChatGPT, Google Gemini or Perplexity. You can even ask, “Critique this story.”

Task for you: If you have something you wish to submit for publication in this WINGSPREAD Zine (a good quote, maxim, meme, humor or a reflection), send it to me for consideration. Hurdjames1941@gmail.com Thank you.

Forthcoming―a book of my stories and essays, new and old. Some samples ―”Egg McMuffin Miracle,” “Churched Atheists,” “Gaming Airport Security.” I’ll keep you posted on progress.

Sean’s serene childhood turns to tortured adolescence as he leaves for college and finds himself telling people he’s an atheist—.at a Bible Institute! What could possibly go wrong?

#hashtags:  #blessedunbeliever #christianwriter #babyloss #southerncalifornia #planes #aviation #humanist #pilotlife #religion #travel #aviationgeek #orangecounty #godless #atheism, #latinamerica

Available in paper or Kindle version at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or order it wherever good books are sold

Sunday, 11 Sept. 2005 Barbara’s garage-sale weekend has ended, an event to remember, that kicked off with an F2 tornado.

The preparation started months before, with Barbara collecting, sorting, repairing, and labeling. She recruited three neighbors to contribute, thus increasing potential sales. A spirited debate ensued over financing, timing, duration, organizing, advertising and recruiting the required labor. About one month before, the garage’s primary purpose was violated when our car was banished to the street. In its place grew a flea market filled with small appliances, kitchenware, clothing, books, magazines, furniture, boxes of miscellanea and knickknackery (I know―knickknack looks wrong but that’s what the Oxford Dictionary says so I’m stickin’ with it). We begged and borrowed tables to display stuff. We hung a pole across two step-ladders with room for a multitude of hangars for blouses, skirts, pants shorts, shirts and jackets. . . .
To read more, click here: https://tinyurl.com/2wxwzp34

Leave a comment on the article, subscribe to the webpage, and share with others. Thanks.

You can also access my stories on Substack: https://jameshurd.substack.com/publish/posts/detail/191488384

This one is a classic. Here it is. 

Many years ago, there was an intense but friendly rivalry between the volunteer fire departments of two nearby towns, Jeffersonville and East Norriton.

Pride was at stake as their rivalry climaxed each year in the Fireman’s Competition at the county fair. So closely matched were the two fire brigades in skill and experience that the preliminary hook and ladder events were virtually a tie, leading up to the final showcase event of the race of firetrucks.

This race would consist of twenty laps done counterclockwise around the quarter-mile dirt track at the fairgrounds.

Both fire brigades drove identical pumpers, scrupulously maintained and adjusted to peak performance. The rules required that they be set to factory configuration, fully loaded and equipped, and the crews identical in total weight to the nearest ounce.

Both drivers were skilled and experienced, wily veterans of the road, so they were very evenly matched in skill. 

The Jeffersonville team had come away disappointed four years in a row, having lost the final event by the closest of margins each time, so the stakes were high this year. 

Jeffersonville appealed to Gus Wilson, automotive legend from the Model Garage, to provide them with some small competitive advantage. Gus took a look at the high-wheeled pumpers and the dirt track and mused while he knocked the ashes from his pipe.

He then stepped forward, and without tools, without violating the rules, and without even opening the hood of this firetruck, he makes a quick adjustment that enabled Jeffersonville to take home the trophy that year.

What did he do?

Good luck.
 

 (Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD zine.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

 So how could the auto racers possibly finish in the same time? Without using any clocks or timepieces of any sort?

The answer is, they used the timing of the windshield wipers! 

Using the same amount of wiper strokes means the same amount of time. Very clever indeed. 

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurdjames1941@gmail.com  and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Obsolete Words

  • fopdoodle – foolish or insignificant person
  • beadledom – petty, fussy authority
  • zounds – exclamation (“God’s wounds!”)
  • gadzooks – mild oath (“God’s hooks!”)
  • smock – woman’s undergarment (now mostly archaic in that sense)
  • flapdoodle – nonsense
  • truckle-bed – a low bed stored under another

These are classic:

When I was young, I was told that anyone could become President….
            I’m beginning to believe it.

—–

When I was young, I prayed that I’d grow up to be somebody. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

—–

I didn’t realize how unsocial I was until there was a pandemic….
            And my life didn’t really change all that much.

—–

Don’t wear headphones while vacuuming; I’ve just finished the whole house before realizing the vacuum wasn’t plugged in.

—–

I gave all my dead batteries away today … free of charge.

—–

I just ordered a life alert bracelet. If I ever get a life I’ll be notified immediately

—–

To the guy who invented “zero” … Thanks for nothing.

—–

The Disappointment Club is pleased to announce that the Friday meeting is cancelled.

—–

Self-esteem is the feeling which makes us attribute our failures to bad luck, and our successes to good judgment.

—–

I was looking for that thingy that peels potatoes and carrots. I asked the kids if they’d seen it.
          Apparently, she left me a week ago.

—–

A woman adopted two dogs and named them Timex and Rolex.
Her friend asked her how she came up with the names.
She replied, “They’re both watch dogs.”

—–

Doctor; I’m afraid your condition is fairly advanced.
Patient; It was in its early stages when I first sat down in your waiting room.

—–

How does my doctor expect me to lose weight, when every medication he prescribes says, “Take with food.”

—–

Me: Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.
Doctor: Sit there and don’t stir.

—–

I was walking past a farm and saw a sign that said: “Duck, eggs!”

I thought: “That’s an unnecessary comma.” Then it hit me.

      Baby needs a mommy face

Here’s a gem from C.S. Lewis, writing on love:

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last.

If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,’ then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love.

Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. it is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

―C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

            Stonehenge at solstice

WINGSPREAD Zine for February, 2026


Spreading wings in a perplexing world

February, 2026                  James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this zine with others. Thank you.

The world is a strange, beautiful, mysterious and sometimes disappointing place. This zine is dedicated to pondering that mystery.

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever novel
  • This month’s story: “Colombia: A Severe Mercy”
  • This month’s puzzler:  “No Time”
  • WINGSPREAD zine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Dedicated to the world of words and the people who create them.

Want to browse archived WINGSPREAD stories? Click here, then click under “archives” at https://jimhurd.com/   These stories include memoirs, stories about bush flying, personal essays and other topics.

“The Returning” (October, 2025—carrying Barbara’s ashes back to Pennsylvania)

 Forthcoming―a book of stories and essays, new and old. Some samples―”Egg McMuffin Miracle,” “Churched Atheists,” “Gaming Airport Security.” I’ll keep you posted on the launch date.

Writer’s tip: Scan your piece for “out-of-order” sentences. They may flow better and make more sense if they’re rearranged.

Words

.Sanewashing  (v.) Normalizing and rationalizing outrageous, extreme or false behavior by a public figure. “The commentator sanewashed the bizarre speech, arguing, ‘He’s just being honest.’”

Kavanaughing (v.) Getting targeted because of your appearance. Origin: Brett Kavanaugh (SCOTUS) wrote a recent opinion in support of using physical appearance to identify criminals and undocumented people. Example: “Even though he was a U.S. citizen, ICE Kavanaughed him because of his dark skin.”

Digital resources: AI is a curse and a blessing. The creators never tell you what algorithms they use. However, I have found it useful for critiquing pieces I have written. Ask AI, “Critique the following essay.” It will give you several suggestions.

TV series of the month: POLDARK. On Netflix. A British soldier returns to England after the American Revolution and confronts a new life in Cornwall where he runs a copper mine, deals with threats of war with France and negotiates complex relationships with his relatives.

Task for you: If you have something you wish to submit for publication in this WINGSPREAD Zine, send it to me for consideration. (Humor, pithy quotes)

Sean’s serene childhood turns to tortured adolescence after Reggie steals his girlfriend, Kathleen. He leaves for college, shaken and losing his childhood faith. and finds himself telling people he’s an atheist—.at a Bible Institute! Parts of the novel draw deeply on my own life experiences, but I’m not telling which parts!

Except for the burglaries, Land Rover crash, airplane crash, typhoid fever, a murder and getting kicked out of our rental house, bush-flying for MAF in Colombia was great.

Within a few weeks after checkout, I was flying solo into the small bush airstrips located all around Montería. Muleticos had a hill at one end, making it a one-way strip―you could only land to the west and only take off to the east. This day I’d just cleared the boundary fence when two pigs breached the fencing and darted across the runway. Too late to go around. I touched down and stood on the brakes. Bam bam! I tore them both  in two with the left wheel, knocking out the left brake. At that point I could keep the airplane straight or brake to a stop, but I couldn’t do both. The plane swerved violently to the right, took out some fenceposts and came to rest after severing a six-inch tree trunk, throwing the airplane down on its left wing. Thankfully no one was hurt. After we traveled several hours by mule and jeep over dirt roads, I arrived home tired, dirty and discouraged. I collapsed into Barbara’s arms―“I crashed the airplane!” . . .

To read more, click here: https://jimhurd.com/2026/02/11/colombia-a-severe-mercy/

Leave a comment on the website, subscribe to the zine. Share this with others. Thanks.

You can also access my articles on Substack: https://jameshurd.substack.com/publish/post/164503545

In qualifying for a Trophy Off Road Race, potential drivers and their teammates were told that they had to traverse a course in as close a time as their partners without the use of time pieces like clocks, watches, or anything like that. 

For example, the first person of the two-person team would drive the course through the woods, over bridges, through streams and then return to the starting point and give his vehicle to his partner, who would then drive the same course and try to finish it as close to the time of his partner. So if the first partner finished in four minutes and 25 seconds, the other guy would try to duplicate that time.

But how could he do that without the use of any kind of clock or timepiece?

How could he possibly finish in the same time? That’s the question. So the guys that won the race figured out a way to finish in the same time.

How did they do it?

Good luck.
 (Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Find the homophones that are opposites in the following sentences:

1. The model wore a timepiece on her ankle. (war/peace)
2. Who will underwrite the cost of the sarong? (right/wrong)
3. This is a rare Bolivian diamond. (live/die)
4. The customer got a souvenir from the pharmacy. (near/far)
5. Let’s celebrate by throwing a party. (sell/buy)
6. The stoker must reignite the furnace daily. (night/day)
7. Can buffalo experience hypertension? (low/high)

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD zine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, or retweet on Twitter.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurdjames1941@gmail.com  and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Medieval Liturgy of the Hours

Monastic life followed a disciplined schedule.

  • Matins (during the night, at about 2 a.m.); sometimes called Vigil and composed of two or three nocturns
  • Lauds (at dawn, about 5 a.m., but earlier in summer, later in winter)
  • Prime (first Hour = approximately 6 a.m.)
  • Terce (third Hour = approximately 9 a.m.)
  • Sext (sixth Hour = approximately 12 noon)
  • None (Ninth Hour = approximately 3 p.m.)
  • Vespers (“at the lighting of the lamps”, about 6 p.m.)
  • Compline (before retiring, about 7 p.m.)

Computer error messages as Haiku poetry

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables – five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third.

Haikus are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning, and powerful insight through extreme brevity. What better answer for th  impersonal computer? Here are some samples:

The Web site you seek

Cannot be located, but

Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.

 Today it is not working.

Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.

This thousand-dollar screen dies

So beautifully.

Stay the patient course.

Of little worth is your ire.

The network is down.

A crash reduces

Your expensive computer

To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:

Death, taxes and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,

But the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

 Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

ABORTED effort:

Close all that you have.

You ask far too much.

The Tao that is seen

Is not the true Tao, until

You bring fresh toner.

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

Having been erased,

The document you’re seeking,

Must now be retyped.

Rather than a beep,

Or a rude error message,

These words: “File not found.”

With searching comes loss

and the presence of absence:

“My Novel” not found.

WINGSPREAD Zine for January, 2026

Please forward and share this zine with others. Thank you.

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever 
  • This month’s story: “A Strange Day at the Office”
  • This month’s puzzler
  • WINGSPREAD Zine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Dedicated to the world of words and to those people who create them.

Want to browse WINGSPREAD stories from the archives? Click here, then click under “archives” at   https://jimhurd.com/     These stories include memoirs, stories about bush flying, personal essays and other topics.

Here are a few examples:

The Annual Physical (humor)  https://jimhurd.com/2024/10/

Pitch Perfect (flying)                  https://jimhurd.com/2024/03/

Mission to Mexico                      https://jimhurd.com/2020/10/01/mission-to-mexico/

Writer’s Tip:. Supercharge your writing with sensual experience. Don’t tell the reader how you character feels. Make your reader feel these emotions. Use sounds (the wind), sights (a flowering meadow), touch (she ran her hand over the plane’s cold aluminum skin), and, often neglected but powerful senses—taste (sweet, salt, sour, bitter) and smell (perfume, smoke, fresh air, decay). These sensual experiences draw the reader into your constructed world.

.On Craft and Quality

  • “Good writing is rewriting.” – Truman Capote
  • “Easy reading is da*n hard writing.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne
  • “Less is more.” – Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (so true in writing)
  • “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” – Stephen King (try to eliminate them)
  • “No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader.” – Robert Frost
  • “If a story is in you, it has to come out.” – William Faulkner

On Discipline and Persistence

  • “A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.” – Richard Bach
  • “The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.” – Louis L’Amour
  • “Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work.”
                Chuck Close
  • “Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”
                Benjamin Franklin

Digital resources: Where publish your blog? I use a WordPress website. Friends of mine use Substack. If you blog on one platform, it is easy to “share” your blog on another.

Word of the month. PRIMARY (v.). To try to eliminate a person from office by opposing them in a primary election. For example, if a Republican U.S. Representative comes from a district that has always been safely red Republican, the only real way to challenge her is to primary her. That is, put money and support into another candidate who wants the Republican nomination and try to beat her in the primaries. Used in a sentence:: “Because the President doesn’t like her, he’ll probably try to primary her in 2026.”

Task for you: If you have an anecdote or quote you wish to submit to publish in WINGSPREAD, send it to me for consideration.

TV series of the month: Shakespeare & Hathaway. The BBC’s funny sleuthing stories about Lu and Frank, private investigators in Stratford-on-Avon. Find them on BritBox―my favorite streaming service. BritBox also has Agatha Christie’s Pirot, Sherlock Holmes, Chesterton’s Father Brown, Jane Austin movies and many others. I love it that my kids add me to their subscriptions, If I hit a paywall I just punch the button and never see a bill. Why is that?

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Sean’s serene childhood turns to tortured adolescence as he leaves for college and finds himself telling people he’s an atheist—.at a Bible Institute!

Available in paper or Kindle version at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Hashtags: #blessedunbeliever #christianwriter #babyloss #southerncalifornia #planes #aviation #humanist #pilotlife #religion #travel #aviationgeek #orangecounty #godless #atheism

“A Strange Day at the Office” (a chapter from my Blessed Unbeliever novel)

Then Myra went crazy. Dear, bubbly Myra, not quite obese but pleasantly plump, long dark hair, black eyes, plenty of lipstick, gregarious, and the owner of a loud, sultry voice. She radiated Eau de Toilette and brought fun with her wherever she went.

Marion told Duane, “Put some music on your radio.” When the music started, Myra jumped up on her chair, then onto her desk, revealing high heels and plump legs showing through her sheer hose. She flung her arms above her head, swayed her hips, twirled her short red dress, and sang lustily, her gold bracelets and Star of David earrings swinging in time as Marion and Duane sang and clapped. For Sean, this was a day to remember . . .

Then the big boss walked in . . .

To read more,click here: https://tinyurl.com/ntad9bn3

Leave a comment on the website, subscribe and share with others. Thanks.

You can also access my articles on Substack:   https://jameshurd.substack.com/

This is a phonetic puzzle. I’m going to read you some sentences. Each sentence contains homophones of two opposites. (Ex. People in Albany enunciate well. (all, none)

Note: The homophones may be buried inside words, but they’re always discreet syllables. They always change spelling from their parts in the sentence.

1. The model wore a timepiece on her ankle.
2. Who will underwrite the cost of the sarong?
3. This is a rare Bolivian diamond.
4. The customer got a souvenir from the pharmacy.
5. Let’s celebrate by throwing a party.
6. The stoker must reignite the furnace daily.
7. Can buffalo experience hypertension?

 (Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

What is odd about this paragraph: “This paragraph is odd. What is its oddity? You may not find it at first, but this paragraph is not normal. What is wrong? It’s just a small thing, but an oddity that stands out if you find it, what is it? You must know your days will not go on until you find out what is odd. You will pull your hair out. Your insomnia will push you until your poor brain finally short circuits trying to find an oddity in this paragraph. Good luck.” 

The oddity in this paragraph is, there are no E’s in it. Not a single E.

For a time, E was the most popular letter. But that paragraph above does not contain an E.

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here WINGSPREAD Ezine signup | Wingspread  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, about once a month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurdjames1941@gmail.com  and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Visual: “Inside the Warm Glow,” by Kaoru Yamada.

Be present, O merciful God, and protect us through the hours of this night, so that we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this life may rest in your eternal changelessness; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.—BCP

Loving the unlovable:

“There is someone I love, even though I don’t approve of what he does. There is someone I accept, though some of his thoughts and actions revolt me. There is someone I forgive, though he hurts the people I love the most. That person is me.” Misattributed to C.S. Lewis

Social skills:

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

—Oscar Wilde

Child discipline in the electronic age:

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently and now conducting himself properly.

Obsolete Objects & Concepts

  • fopdoodle – foolish or insignificant person
  • beadledom – petty, fussy authority
  • zounds – exclamation (“God’s wounds!”)
  • gadzooks – mild oath (“God’s hooks!”)
  • smock – woman’s undergarment (now mostly archaic in that sense)
  • flapdoodle – nonsense
  • truckle-bed – a low bed stored under another

Upscale dining

Rapid aging

As they wait for the bus, Mother tells little Phillip to say he’s 4 years old if the driver asks, so he can ride for free.

As they get into the bus, the driver asks Phillip how old he is.

“I am 4 years old,” Phillip replied.

“And when will you be six years old?” asked Perry.

“When I get off the bus.”

A Strange Day at the Office

An excerpt from my Blessed Unbeliever novel.

In February of that long winter of his second TBI year, Sean told the student employment office he was sick of his factory job, so they found him work downtown in an insurance company on the twenty-fifth floor of the Tribune Tower. This job would be very different—lots of contact with people―people, Sean feared, that would be very different from himself.

On his first day of work, Sean ate early lunch at TBI, then walked out through the arch toward downtown. A group of guys who worked at the Federal Reserve Bank streamed in front of him, talking and yelling as they jogged across the intersections, ignoring the traffic lights, zig-zagging between the stopped cars, hopping over hoods. When they would leave the bank later that afternoon, the bank guards would turn their pockets inside out looking for pennies.

Sean turned left on Illinois Street, then walked down Michigan Avenue toward the Chicago River. He stared up at the Tribune Tower, the giant building shrinking him into insignificance. A steel and concrete monolith built in 1925, its thirty-six stories, soared 462 feet above its glass façade. He entered the lobby through a revolving door and passed the coffee counter, found the bank of elevators and told the operator, “Twenty-fifth floor.”

Exiting the elevator, he found the huge First Chicago Insurance office suite where the hiring manager waited. “The bulk of our staff works in this main office,” he said, “but you’ll work in the smaller office down the hall.” They walked in to see a manager sitting at a large desk inside a glassed-in cubicle. He wore a dark business suit, white shirt and tie, and his umbrella hung on a wooden coat stand. “Sean, this is Mr. Merton,” the manager said. “He’ll introduce you to the others.”

Sean shook Mr. Merton’s hand, who pointed and said, “That’s Duane; he’s our junior underwriter. Marion and Myra over there are our office assistants.” They all nodded and smiled. Mr. Merton never smiled. “Myra here will give you a stack of policies to file. The red-tagged folders are active; the others are expired.” Then he walked back into his cage.

Myra helped Sean learn how to organize the slightly-askew, dog-eared folders that hung in the file drawers. He liked Myra immediately—pretty, bombastic, friendly, she lit up the office. He began organizing the bills, receipts and records of sprinkler damage that Myra had strewn helter-skelter across his desk. He thought, These wrinkled folders wouldn’t inspire much customer confidence.

Mr. Merton kept a clean and organized space. The few times he emerged from his office he would lean against a desk and deliver pep talks to his minions—“If we get these insurance claims organized and wrapped up, it’ll put a real feather in all our caps.”

Privately, Duane told Sean, “He means a feather in his cap.”

Duane, tall and darker-skinned and smelling of cologne and tobacco, carelessly slicked his black hair back. When he smoked he sucked in his cheeks and his long, languid eyelids drooped over a fetching smile that revealed confident teeth.

Duane loved to flirt with Marion, a slightly-built Catholic girl who would toss her blond hair and blink her big, hazel eyes, always looking cute in her see-through blouse and tight skirt. Duane told Sean, “I like Marion, but she’s Catholic and I’m Lutheran so I don’t know how we could get together.”

One day Mr. Merton called in sick and put Duane in charge. That would be the day the inmates took over the asylum.

Duane opened his desk drawer and pulled out a bottle. “Myra, get some plastic cups in that drawer over there. Could you pour?” Sean had never tasted alcohol and Torrey Bible prohibited drinking, but the pressure of the social occasion pushed him to take a sip. He coughed as the strong liquid slid down his throat. Duane laughed, sitting relaxed with his feet up on the desk, cigarette hanging from his lower lip. When Marion came over and sat on his lap. Duane pretended to ignore her but Sean could see he loved it. He tried concentrating on his filing, but in vain. The atmosphere turned relaxed, a day of freedom from Mr. Merton.

Then Myra went crazy. Dear, bubbly Myra, not quite obese but pleasantly plump, long dark hair, black eyes, plenty of lipstick, gregarious, and the owner of a loud, sultry voice, she radiated Eau de Toilette and brought fun with her wherever she went.

Marion told Duane, “Put some music on your radio.” When the music started, Myra stepped up on her chair, then onto her desk, revealing high heels and plump legs showing through her sheer hose. She flung her arms above her head, swayed her hips, twirled her short red dress, and sang lustily, her gold bracelets and Star of David earrings swinging in time as Marion and Duane sang and clapped. For Sean, this was a day to remember.

Then the big boss from the main office walked in.

Silence, hung heads, as all returned to work with tails between legs. No one lost their job but the next day Mr. Merton walked into his tiny cubicle, hung up his black overcoat, scarf and umbrella and then addressed his troops. “People, I’m surprised at this behavior. It casts a shadow on my leadership. You embarrassed me in front of my own boss.” He droned on—lack of maturity and professionalism, black marks, etc. Plainly, the big boss had reamed him out and commanded him to castigate his staff. For his part, Sean thought, It was totally worth it!

Sean’s two jobs couldn’t have been more different. The pie filling job had numbed him. The insurance job felt equally mindless but he found himself liking his officemates and felt like he was learning to appreciate people unlike himself. This produced a residual fundamentalist guilt—he remembered St. James’ words, “Love not the world . . .”

Sean’s childhood formation made him critical of people outside of fundamentalism, even people who went to modernist churches. With her behavior, could Myra be an observant Jew? Sean didn’t think so. And Duane—suave, worldly-wise, sophisticated—did “Lutheran” mean he was born again? And were Catholic girls allowed to sit on Lutheran men’s laps? He didn’t think Marion or Duane were real Christians. And how could he share his Christian faith with them if he no longer believed it himself? He frowned and bit his lip. His atheism was growing more and more complicated. And it produced a growing risk for him at TBI.

Wingspread Zine for October, 2025

Please forward and share this ezine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever 
  • This month’s story: “The Returning”
  • This month’s puzzler:
  • WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Dedicated to people who love words. Words are miracles that brand humans as sentient creatures―creative, inventive, exploring. Taste the words as they roll around on your tongue; let them fill you with wonder.

Want to browse archived WINGSPREAD stories? Click here, then click under “archives”     https://jimhurd.com/     These stories include memoirs, stories about bush flying, personal essays and other topics.

Here are a few examples:

“Why do I Make Stupid Mistakes?”
https://tinyurl.com/4b36sest

“A Blessed Death” https://jimhurd.com/2025/01/

Writer’s tip: If you’ve seen a metaphor used before, don’t use it. So many metaphors are hackneyed and trite (a purring engine, flat as a pancake, as bright as the sun)  Try to think of fresh metaphors.

Word of the month: A “contronym” is a word with two opposite meanings. For example:CLEAVEto split apart (“Cleave the log in two”) -or- to cling to (“Cleave to your principles”).

Task for you: Incorporate two new words into the next paragraph you write. You may even, like Shakespeare, make up your own words. Try turning a noun into a verb (“The baby aped her mother’s motions perfectly.”)

Book of the month: Christian Reflections. C.S. Lewis (Walter Hooper, editor). 1967. Nerd alert—sometimes Lewis is hard to read. And yet here he reflects on important issues: Unanswered prayer, ethics, Christianity and culture. Ironic that even right-wing Christians have “adopted” this pipe-smoking, bourbon-drinking Oxford don who accepts evolution and speculates about purgatory! However, he lends his great mind to powerful Christian apologetics.

Available in paper or Kindle version at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Fifty-four years ago I traveled from Venezuela to Pennsylvania for our wedding. Now I’m tearing up entering Pennsylvania for the first time without Barbara. I learned to see this world through her eyes―now I love the place even more than she did.

     This year spring has come early to Lancaster County—green meadows of alfalfa, new-leaved trees, gardens of tulips, daffodils and phlox, the faint smell of spread manure. We pass eternal stone barns with their earth bridges rising to the second level. We hear the clip-clop of passing grey and black buggies.

We find the Willow Street Mennonite Church is thriving—lots of young families and children with many of Barbara’s relatives sprinkled in. A good Easter service. The promise of new life even as we memorialize its ending. I hear the “Lancaster lilt”—”youse staying for dinner? . . . it spited me . . . outen the light . . . there’s more pie back . . . baby’s all cried up; maybe she needs drying . . .”

To read more, click here: https://jimhurd.com/2025/10/01/the-returning/

Leave a comment on the website, subscribe and share with others. Thanks.

You can also access this and other recent articles on Substack:  https://jameshurd.substack.com/p/the-returning   

 An off-duty policeman is working as a night watchman in an office building.

He’s doing his nightly rounds, and he comes to a closed door. Behind the door, he hears voices.

He hears people talking, and an argument seems to be taking place. Raised voices, and yelling. Then he hears one of them say, “No, Frank! No, don’t do it. You’ll regret it.”

And then he hears what sounds like gun shots. Bang, bang, bang.

He burst through the door. What does he see? A dead man on the floor, and the proverbial smoking gun.

Now, in the room there are three living people. A minister, a doctor and a plumber.

He walks over to the minister and says, “You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent.” 

How does he know that it was the minister that pulled the trigger?

Good luck. 

 (Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

With the velociraptors pursuing you on Isla Nublar, your life depends on taking the correct fork in the road. You meet two guys—one always lies; the other always tells the truth. You get only one question. So what would the one question be to make sure you could get to the dock?

Here it is. 

I would look at one of the guys and say, “If I were to ask the other guy which road takes me to the dock, what would he say?”

Here’s why.

If you ask the truth teller, he is going to say, “The liar is going to tell you to take this road.” And that would be the wrong road, because he’s a liar. 

And if you ask the liar, he is going to point to the same road, because he has to lie about what the truth teller will say. 

So there ya have it. 

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

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  • Pre- means before, and post- means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.
  • Through prayer the Christ within us opens our eyes to the Christ among us.
    Henri Nouwen

“I’m foreman of the local sawmill,” he explained. “Every day, I have to blow the whistle at noon, so I call you to get the exact time.” Yolanda giggled, “That’s interesting, All this time, we’ve been setting our clock by your whistle.”

Obsolete Insults & Colorful Terms

  • caitiff – wretched, despicable person
  • knave – dishonest man
  • varlet – rogue or rascal
  • coxcomb – vain, conceited man
  • scullion – kitchen servant (used insultingly)
  • slubberdegullion – slob, slovenly person
  • looby – awkward, clumsy fellow

Ode to the Married Man

To keep your marriage brimming
with love in the loving cup
whenever you’re wrong admit it
whenever you’re right, shut up.
                              Ogden Nash

                    Learning how to order coffee

This list will help you tighten your writing―eliminate unnecessary words. My personal opinion is that this list is absolutely necessary―it’s a true fact.

                                                Advice for parents

WINGSPREAD Zine for September, 2025

Please forward and share this zine with others. Thank you.

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever 
  • This month’s story: “Silver Acres Formed Me”
  • This month’s puzzler: “Island of Truth and Lies”
  • WINGSPREAD Zine subscription information
  • Wisdom

This section betrays my belief that to be a writer is to be a lover of words. Words and human speech―miracles that brand humans as sentient creatures―creative, inventive, exploring. Taste the words as they roll around in your mouth, marvel at them, let them fill you with a sense of wonder.

Writer’s tip: First-person-present tense is gripping, immediate. It’s hard to write in this tense but give it a try. (Example: “I park the car in front, get out and walk up to the door. . .”)

Task for you: Try writing a 100-word paragraph using only the present, first-person tense.

Word of the month: GOBSMACKED (Obsolete) To be a writer is to be a word-lover, including obsolete words. This word comes from Irish and Scottish Gaelic. It still pops up in other places in British slang―for example, “shut your gob!” If you say that you were “gobsmacked” it means that you were so astonished, it was as though someone had smacked you in the mouth (Wikipedia). A phrase with a similar meaning: “Slapped upside the head,”

Book of the month: The biblical book of Ruth. A marvelous story about a foreign refugee woman (Moabite) who travels into Israel, finds a living, finds love and becomes an ancestor of King David and of Jesus. Hear her aching, immortal words to Naomi, her mother-in-law“—Beseech me not to leave thee . . .”

Sean McIntosh ingested fundamentalism along with his mother’s milk. And yet as he reached his late teens his doubts overwhelmed him and he proclaimed himself an atheist—while attending Torrey Bible Institute! This is his story.

Available in paper or Kindle version at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

When I entered sixth grade, Jim Hayden, who always wore a dark suit, white shirt and tie, taught our Sunday School class. To get to his classroom, us five boys—Gene, Fred, Ron, John and I―had to climb stairs up to a small room under the squat bell tower. This was our first “segregated” SS class and he seized the opportunity to warn us against sexual temptation, enlightening us on the meaning of certain sexual hand signs and counseling us how to behave with girls. Silver Acres was big on teaching the dangers of sex. However, the only temptation I was feeling at the moment was to pull the church bell rope which passed through the classroom from floor to ceiling. Yet I remember the delicious discovery of the second sex at Silver Acres. At that age, girls were attractive, mysterious and untouchable.. . . To read more, click here:  https://jimhurd.com/2025/09/02/silver-acres-formed-me/

Leave a comment on the story and share with others. Thanks.

You can also access my stories on Substack:   (2) Silver Acres Formed Me – by James P Hurd – James’s Substack

Want to browse archived WINGSPREAD stories? Click here:  https://jimhurd.com/ then click in the righthand column under “archives.”  These stories include memoirs, stories about bush flying, personal essays and other topics.

Here are a few examples:

“Trouble in Paradise” (a whimsical take on the Adam and Eve story) https://jimhurd.com/2024/04/  

“Lone, Wandering But Lost?(challenge of land and air navigation) https://tinyurl.com/3yuzsw3j 

“Egg McMuffin Miracle” (A personal “angel” epiphany)  https://tinyurl.com/24a5zr6y

This one is a classic. I’ll set the scene. 

You’re on Isla Nublar, the island from Jurassic Park. There are dangers around every corner. Pterodactyls are circling overhead. Tyrannosaurus Rex’s are nipping at your heels. The only hope to escape is to get to the dock before the last transport leaves the island. 

You’re driving along this road in your Nissan Pathfinder heading for the dock and you come to the proverbial fork in the road. You don’t know which way to go so you try to find someone to ask. 

Now, unfortunately, on this island there are only two kinds of people: liars and truth tellers. The liars always lie, and the truth tellers always tell the truth.

So you come to the fork in the road, and there are two guys there. And you know that they always travel in pairs. There’s always one liar and one truth teller. But you don’t know which is which. And you really need to know the way to the dock. 

So the puzzler question is, what one question could you ask either one of them that would certainly get you onto the right road and to safety where your boat awaits at the dock?

You only get one question. What would it be?

Good luck.

 (Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler about the broken stone: 

This one was hard!

So what were the weights of the 4 individual pieces after the large stone was broken? Remember, the pieces of the broken stone could now be used to weigh any item, assuming those items were in 1-pound increments from 1 pound to 40 pounds, using the stones and a balance scale.

So how much did each piece weigh? And the hint that I gave was, how would you weigh 2 pounds?

Here is the answer:

One of the pieces has to be 1 pound. And if you use the hint I gave, then the next one has to be 3 pounds. Because if you put 1 pound on one side, and 3 pounds on the other side, that would equal weighing 2 pounds. If you weigh 2 pounds of hay on the 1 pound side, and it is equal with the 3 pound side, you know you have 2 pounds of hay.To weigh 4 pounds, you put the 1 and the 3 together. 

So if you follow this logic, you will see that the amounts have to be powers of 3 and there are four powers of 3 between 1 and 40: 1 pound (30), 3 pounds (31), 9 pounds (32), and 27 pounds (33), and these four add up to 40. Pretty slick, huh?

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurdjames1941@gmail.com  and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Obsolete Words. (You still find these occasionally; sometimes in the old King James Bibles!) Demonstrates how words and usage change.

  • anon – soon, shortly (“I will come anon.”)
  • betimes – early, promptly
  • peradventure – perhaps, maybe
  • yclept – called, named (“A knight yclept Sir Gareth…”)
  • hark – listen (“Hark! The herald angels . . .”)
  • prithee – I pray thee; please
  • fain – gladly, willingly
  • nigh – near
  • ere – before
  • whilom – once upon a time
  • shew – actually, just an obsolete spelling of “show”
  • begotten – born
  • espoused – engaged
  • buckler – a small, round shield
  • manger – a feed trough for animals

Contronyms (single words that have opposite meanings depending on the context)

  1. Sanctionto approve (“The committee sanctioned the project”) / to penalize (“The country was sanctioned for violations”).
  2. Oversightsupervision (“She has oversight of the department”) / an error by neglect (“It was an oversight on my part”).
  3. Dustto remove fine particles (“I dusted the shelves”) / to apply fine particles (“I dusted the cake with sugar”).
  4. Leftremaining (“Only one slice left”) / departed (“She left the room”).
  5. Trimto decorate (“Trim the tree”) / to cut away (“Trim the hedge”).
  6. Boundheading toward (“She’s bound for Paris”) / restrained (“He was bound by ropes”).
  7. Cleaveto split apart (“Cleave the log in two”) / to cling to (“Cleave to your principles”).
  8. Seedto plant seeds (“Seed the garden”) / to remove seeds (“Seed the watermelon”).
  9. Screento show (“They screened the movie”) / to hide (“Screen the porch from the sun”).
  10. Weatherto withstand (“Weather the storm”) / to be worn away (“The rock weathered over time”).
  11. Fastquick (“He runs fast”) / fixed, unmoving (“The rope was held fast”).
  12. Clipto attach (“Clip the papers together”) / to cut off (“Clip the coupon”).
  13. Apologyexpression of regret (“He gave an apology”) / formal defense or justification (“Plato’s Apology”).
  14. Peruseto read carefully / to skim casually (usage has shifted over time).
  15. Boltto secure (“Bolt the door”) / to flee (“The horse bolted”).
  16. Overlookto supervise (“She overlooked the project”) / to miss noticing (“He overlooked the typo”).
  17. Goto proceed (“Go ahead”) / to fail or be spent (“The battery has gone”).
  18. Dustycovered in dust (“Dusty shelves”) / sprinkled with dust-like particles (“Dusty snow on the mountain”).
  19. Temperto soften (“Temper justice with mercy”) / to strengthen (“Tempered steel”).
  20. Outvisible (“The stars are out”) / extinguished (“The fire is out”).

                                    I can relate . . .