
Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
August, 2024 James P. Hurd
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Contents
- Writer’s Corner
- Blessed Unbeliever
- This month’s story
- This month’s puzzler
- WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
- Wisdom
Writer’s Corner
Tip for writers:. A good (but hard) rule to follow is to never use a metaphor you’ve seen before. One of my favorites by Mark Twain: “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Task for you: Send me an original metaphor. I’ll publish them in the next WINGSPREAD.
Try using some of these words in your writing:
- Hurkle-durkling Staying in bed awake after the alarm goes off
- Outré Unusual or startling
- Smellmaxxing Think tween and teen boys buying $300 cologne
- Polycule A molecule or “pod” of consensual non-monogamous people
- Deepfake Manipulated image, video or audio of people doing or saying things they never did or said
- Bespoke Made for a particular client
- Belch up Something nasty reappears
- Scabrous Indecent, salacious
- Anodyne Harmless; inoffensive
- vertiginous Causing vertigo
- Perseverate Repeat or prolong an action
- Oeuvre A painter’s or composer’s body of work
- Limerence Obsession with another person, oftentimes who does not know you
- Swatting A fake call to 911 to send emergency vehicles to an address
- Couture High-fashion designer clothes
- Rizz Romantic appeal or charm

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.
New story: “Identity Crisis”
Man (sic) cannot name himself.
He waits for God or Satan
To tell him who he is.
Unknown
Americans are experiencing a crisis of identity. I asked a middle school counselor why people came to see her. “Anxiety!” she said, “feeling they can’t measure up.” At this crucial age students compare themselves to others, especially to the images on social media that tell them two things. 1. There are Beautiful People in the world. 2. You are not one of them. . . .
To read more, click here https://jimhurd.com/2024/08/16/identity-crisis/
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This month’s puzzler
Julie’s dad had five daughters: June, July, August and September. What was the fifth daughter’s name? (Apologies to the expert puzzlers who find this puzzler too easy!)
(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)
Answer to last month’s puzzler:
So how can Sherlock Holmes be 32 the day before yesterday, but will turn 35 next year?
Here is the answer:
Watson and Holmes are sitting by the fire on January 1st when this conversation was happening.
The day before yesterday, Sherlock was 32.
Yesterday, December 31, was his birthday and he turned 33.
So this year he will turn 34 on December 31st, and next year, he’ll turn 35.
Trick question, but a good one!
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Wisdom
I’m so single right now that when I stood on a cliff and shouted “I love you,” my echo replied, “I just want to be friends.”
Red Skelton’s secret to the perfect marriage
- Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
- We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
- I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. But when I suggested the kitchen she got all mad . . .
- We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”
- Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
- I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’.
- I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
- The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”

- American author Dorothy Parker once wrote: “If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with a copy of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
- People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.
- A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.






































