Category Archives: Ezines

WINGSPREAD Ezine for August, 2024

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  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever 
  • This month’s story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Tip for writers:. A good (but hard) rule to follow is to never use a metaphor you’ve seen before. One of my favorites by Mark Twain: “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

Task for you: Send me an original metaphor. I’ll publish them in the next WINGSPREAD.

Try using some of these words in your writing:

  • Hurkle-durkling          Staying in bed awake after the alarm goes off
  • Outré               Unusual or startling
  • Smellmaxxing Think tween and teen boys buying $300 cologne
  • Polycule          A molecule or “pod” of consensual non-monogamous people
  • Deepfake         Manipulated image, video or audio of people doing or saying things they never did or said
  • Bespoke          Made for a particular client
  • Belch up          Something nasty reappears
  • Scabrous         Indecent, salacious
  • Anodyne         Harmless; inoffensive
  • vertiginous     Causing vertigo
  • Perseverate    Repeat or prolong an action
  • Oeuvre             A painter’s or composer’s body of work
  • Limerence      Obsession with another person, oftentimes who does not know you
  • Swatting          A fake call to 911 to send emergency vehicles to an address
  • Couture           High-fashion designer clothes
  • Rizz                 Romantic appeal or charm

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Man (sic) cannot name himself.
He waits for God or Satan
To tell him who he is.
                                    Unknown

Americans are experiencing a crisis of identity. I asked a middle school counselor why people came to see her. “Anxiety!” she said, “feeling they can’t measure up.” At this crucial age students compare themselves to others, especially to the images on social media that tell them two things. 1. There are Beautiful People in the world. 2. You are not one of them. . . .

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

 Julie’s dad had five daughters: June, July, August and September. What was the fifth daughter’s name? (Apologies to the expert puzzlers who find this puzzler too easy!)

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

So how can Sherlock Holmes be 32 the day before yesterday, but will turn 35 next year?
Here is the answer:

Watson and Holmes are sitting by the fire on January 1st when this conversation was happening. 
The day before yesterday, Sherlock was 32.
Yesterday, December 31, was his birthday and he turned 33.
So this year he will turn 34 on December 31st, and next year, he’ll turn 35. 

Trick question, but a good one!

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

I’m so single right now that when I stood on a cliff and shouted “I love you,” my echo replied, “I just want to be friends.”

Red Skelton’s secret to the perfect marriage

  1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
  2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
  3. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. But when I suggested the kitchen she got all mad . . .
  4. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
  5. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”
  6. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
  7. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’.
  8. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
  9. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”
  • American author Dorothy Parker once wrote: “If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with a copy of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
  • People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.
  • A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

WINGSPREAD for March, 2024

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  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever  available
  • New story: “Pitch Perfect”
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

This month’s writing quote: “If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.” Elmore Leonard

Tip for writers: Begin your story in media res. You do not have to “begin at the beginning.” Try starting your story just before or just after the peak of the action. Example: “I’m not dead! But I have no idea what happened.” This hooks the reader. Then, go back and start at the beginning.

Word of the month: OBLIQUE DIALOGUE. Good dialogue makes a good story. It should sound natural, though. Just statement-response, statement-response gets stilted and boring; it doesn’t sound natural. Oblique dialogue means that the response is oblique; not just a simple response. For example—Kathy: “I wonder when Mom will get home.” Bill: “I worry about her being gone so much.”   Another—Kathy: “Do you think this dress makes me look fat?”  Bill (a wise husband): “I think you have great taste in clothes.” Notice he doesn’t directly answer the question.

Question for you:  How to overcome writer’s block?

  • Get a list of “prompts” and write briefly on several of them.
  • Take a piece you’ve written and try to condense into just 100 words.
  • Ask “what if?” For instance, what if a character is carrying a dark secret? What if she were born in a different town?
  • Mine your own life for people and events that you can use to transform your writing.
  • Freewrite. Just start writing. The only rule is do not stop.

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

A normal smoggy day at Chino airport. I’d just taken off with my student, Stan, whom I was checking out in the Taylorcraft.

The takeoff was normal, but after we leveled off, our increasing speed tended to force the nose up.

“Trim the nose down, Stan.”

“I am trimming down.”

“Trim down more.”

“I am!”

“Give me the controls.”

I grabbed the dual control wheel and it just about hit me in the face! The airplane was trying mightily to pitch up. . . .

To read more, click here  https://jimhurd.com/2024/03/09/pitch-perfect/

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

(Thanks to Car Talk puzzler archives.)
A friend of mine who works at a bank was doing her accounting duties. She noticed that there was a balloon payment coming up and she said, “Well, that’s interesting. Balloon. b.a.l.l.o.o.n. There are two sets of double letters in that word. Hmm.”

And so she thought to herself, is there a word in the English language that has three sets of double letters in a row? And as I was working on this one, I came across a word that has two H’s in it, back to back. 

So the puzzler has two parts. What word has three sets of double letters in it? And what word has a double H?

Now, there may be 2500 answers to this one, I know. Just have fun with it. 

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Recall Uncle Enzo had 11 antique cars and his will specified: one-half of them should go to his oldest son, one-fourth to his middle son and sixth of them to his youngest son. How will they divide them up?

Then Uncle Vinny shows up with his car and he says, “Look, I will lend you my car.” So, once he lends them his car, they have 12 cars.

So, now with 12 cars, 6 of them go to the oldest son. That would be half. A fourth of the cars, or 3 cars, go to the middle son, and a sixth of the cars, or 2 cars, go to the youngest son. That leaves only one car.

Then, Vinny takes his car back. The split has happened the way Uncle Enzo wanted it to, because 6, 3 and 2 make 11. 

Fractions are fun, right?

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Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe free to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive an article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “Unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wordplay — thoughts on modern era marketing signage

Signage for an Electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts

Signage for a curtain delivery truck: Blind man driving

Signage for a Podiatrist’s office: Time wounds all heels

Signage for a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

Signage for an Optometrist’s Office: If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.

Signage for a Plumber’s truck: We repair what your husband fixed. Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

Signage for a Tire Repair Shop: Invite us to your next blowout

Signage for a Maternity Room door: Push. Push. Push.”

Signage for a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet—miss a car payment.

Signage for a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

Signage for a Veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Signage for a Shoe repair store: We will heel you and save your sole, we will even dye for you.

Signage for an Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.

Signage for a Restaurant: Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

Signage for a Funeral Home:: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.

Signage for a Propane Filling Station: Thank Heaven for little grills.

Signage for a Radiator Shop: Best place in town to take a leak.

And—last but not least—Signage for another Septic Tank Truck: Caution—This Truck is full of Political Promises.

When I fed the poor they called me a saint. When I asked why they were poor, they called me a Communist.                —Bishop Dom Helder Camara of Recife, Brazil

WINGSPREAD Ezine for December, 2023


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
December 2023                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever now available
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Tip for writers: Writer’s block? If you don’t have a good idea for the plot of your novel, write a short story. If no ideas for a short story, find a list of “writers’ prompts.” Or just start freewriting, for instance, “Why I can’t find good writing ideas . . . Everyone has a good story in them; you just have to Heimlich it out.

Word of the month:  SKIPLAGGING. Okay; I love this word! In an attempt to get a cheaper airline price to a smaller city, what you do is book to a larger city (with a cheaper price), but be sure your flight makes a stop in your smaller city. When it stops in your true destination, the smaller city, you just get off and walk away. Skiplagging. (I don’t think the airlines like this very much.)

Book of the Month: The Complete Father Brown Stories. G.K. Chesterton. Penguin Classics. 2012. Round-faced Father Brown, Chesterton’s loveable, dumpy Catholic priest, is also a stiletto-sharp detective. If there is a murder in a small English town, Brown seems to miraculously show up. Even in the face of Scotland Yard’s objections, he jumps in with his analytical powers, ministering justice but also offering forgiveness and grace. Father Brown Video series can be found on BritBox.

Question for you:  If you were, like Napoleon, banished to a small island alone, what three books would you take with you and why?

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

How can some migrating birds find their way from New York to Chile while I can get lost three blocks from home? I’ve had trouble navigating all my life—missing exits on the freeway, getting lost on cross-country flights, even walking out of a downtown store and turning north instead of south. What’s up? Am I just not paying attention? . . .

To read more, click here: Lone, Wandering, but Lost? | Wingspread (jimhurd.com)

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

Some years ago, there was a natural disaster in the United States that took human life and destroyed considerable property. The effects of this catastrophe were experienced by people hundreds of miles away from the devastation site.

Because of this disaster, motor vehicles became inoperable.

However, people who went out and bought pantyhose were able to continue driving.

So, the puzzler is this.

What was the disaster and why did women’s hosiery become important?

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Okay, a 7 letter word in which you can get 9 words from the letters. 

And the answer is the word: Therein. And here are the words:

The, He, There, Her, Ere, In, Here, Rein, Therein (the original word itself)

Sam reported that he found TWO words with TEN words buried in each: “Islands” and “seasons.” Can you find the buried words?

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

They say that marriages are made in Heaven….
….But then, so are thunder and lightning.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food….
….He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

The only flair I have is in my nostrils.

People who think they know everything….
….Are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Be careful about reading health books….
….You might die of a misprint.

Johnny, where’s your homework?….
….Still inside the pencil.

I like local jokes….
….They’re right up my street.

I felt uncomfortable, driving into the cemetery….
….The GPS declared, “You have reached your final destination.”

Children Are Quick

TEACHER: Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

___________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

_________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)

____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

_________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

_________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

______________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand…..

_____________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mum is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER:  Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.

Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

______________________________ _____

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

_________________________________

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

WINGSPREAD for October, 2023

A warm welcome to this month’s Ezine, offered to fellow travelers and especially to fellow writers. Enjoy. (Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.)

  • Writer’s Corner
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Blessed Unbeliever now available
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Tip for writers: First, write for yourself. Are you satisfied? Trust yourself to tell the story you wish to tell with your own voice.

Word of the month: METAWRITING. Writing about your writing. Especially in nonfiction (and rarely in fiction), we have the Preface. Here, you tell the reader what you’re trying to do, how you are going to do it and why. Metawriting also may give you insight when you revise your writing.

Question for you: How do you know when you’re done writing a book? When you’re satisfied? When your editor/publisher is satisfied? You’re tired of the thing? Deadline? Cannot improve on it?

Are you serious about wanting to write? If so, try writing just a few lines each day (or each week) using the following prompts. Guaranteed to get the creative juices flowing.

Our writing must never be only goal-oriented—directed toward a published product. We must write for practice, for opening our creativity and (dare I say it?) just for fun.

Day 1: Write a story with no dialogue
Day 2: Take something usual and have it do something unusual
Day 3: Write a story that incorporates the color red
Day 4: Select a kitchen item; write from its perspective
Day 5: Write a story about a couple
Day 6: Write something in the absurdist style

Day 7: Write a discovery
Day 8: Write a one-sentence story
Day 9: Write about a surprise gone wrong
Day 10: Write about an animal
Day 11: Write about a holiday
Day 12: Write about a food you (or your character) hate
Day 13: Write about the weather

Day 14: Write about non-romantic love
Day 15: Write about someone who needed to take a deep breath
Day 16: Think about something boring; make it interesting
Day 17: Write a how-to in the second person
Day 18: Write someone’s online dating profile
Day 19: Write about an argument
Day 20: Write about an unopened letter

Day 21: Write about something that scares you
Day 22: Write in a form you normally wouldn’t
Day 23: Write something based on a random word
Day 24: Create a new myth
Day 25: Write about a cryptid (a mythological animal)
Day 26: Write about a piece of clothing
Day 27: Write something that makes you laugh
Day 28: Write a story with only dialogue

**Note: I know everybody understands the things I wonder about. So you could consider these a plaintive plea for sympathy and insight.

Why do some birds find their way from New York to Chile while I get lost three blocks from my home? (True story.) I’ve had trouble navigating all my life— missing exits on the freeway, getting lost on cross-country flights, even walking out of a downtown store and turning north instead of south. What’s up? Am I just not paying attention? Is it genetic?

At our apartment in Oak Crest we have a football-field-sized main hallway, 50 yards down each wing. I walk home down the hallway and burst unannounced into Larry and Julie’s apartment. “Hi, Larry and Julie! No, nothing; just dropping by.” Their door is the last door on the right in the east wing. My apartment door is the last door on the right in the west wing. Not only have I done this three times but I don’t know why, or how to avoid doing it next time. . . .

To read more, click here:  https://jimhurd.com/2023/10/04/navigating/

 Leave a comment on the website and share the site with others. Thanks.

(Adapted from Car Talk Puzzler archives)

There is in the English language, a seven-letter word that contains nine words without rearranging any of the letters.  So using pieces of the original word, without changing the placement of the letters, you can form nine words. What is the word?

So the original word has seven letters, but there are nine words buried in this seven-letter word. 

For example, the word ‘garbage’. This word contains these three words:

1. Garb

2. Bag

3. Age

And the word we are looking for is a seven-letter word that has nine words buried in it, including itself. There might even be more . . .

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

This one was very simple. Which of the following words does not belong, and why?

  • Mother
  • Father
  • Cousin
  • Uncle
  • Brother
  • Aunt

And the answer is: the word cousin does not belong. And why? Because it is the only word that does not describe the gender of the family member. Cousin can be either male or female. (Alternative answer: “Aunt” is the only one-syllable word.)

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD Ezine, sent direct to your email inbox every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:   
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.  
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!     
FREE PUPPIES
  
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.     
FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.  
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.  
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.    
WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE .  
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.  
FOR  SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.     

Whoopsie

Oxymorons

Like other kinds of figurative language, oxymorons (or oxymora) are often found in literature. As shown by this list of awfully good examples, oxymorons are also part of our everyday speech. You’ll find common figures of speech, plus references to works of classic and pop culture.

  • absent presence (Sidney 1591)
  • alone together
  • awful good
  • beggarly riches (Donne 1624)
  • bittersweet
  • brisk vacancy (Ashbery 1975)
  • cheerful pessimist
  • civil war
  • clearly misunderstood
  • comfortable misery (Koontz 2001)
  • conspicuous absence
  • cool passion
  • crash landing
  • cruel kindness
  • darkness visible (Milton 1667)
  • deafening silence
  • deceptively honest
  • definite maybe
  • deliberate speed
  • devout atheist
  • dull roar
  • eloquent silence
  • even odds
  • exact estimate
  • extinct life
  • falsely true (Tennyson 1862)
  • festive tranquility
  • found missing
  • freezer burn
  • friendly takeover
  • genuine imitation
  • good grief
  • growing smaller
  • guest host
  • historical present
  • humane slaughter
  • icy hot
  • idiot savant
  • ill health
  • impossible solution
  • intense apathy
  • joyful sadness
  • jumbo shrimp
  • larger half
  • lascivious grace (Shakespeare 1609)
  • lead balloon
  • liquid marble (Jonson 1601)
  • living dead
  • living end
  • living sacrifices
  • loosely sealed
  • loud whisper
  • loyal opposition
  • magic realism
  • melancholy merriment (Byron 1819)
  • militant pacifist
  • minor miracle
  • negative growth
  • negative income
  • old news
  • one-man band
  • only choice
  • openly deceptive
  • open secret
  • original copy
  • overbearingly modest
  • paper tablecloth
  • paper towel
  • peaceful conquest
  • plastic glasses
  • plastic silverware
  • poor health
  • pretty ugly
  • properly ridiculous
  • random order
  • recorded live
  • resident alien
  • sad smile
  • same difference
  • scalding coolness (Hemingway 1940)
  • seriously funny
  • shrewd dumbness
  • silent scream
  • small crowd
  • soft rock
  • “The Sound of Silence” (Simon 1965)
  • static flow
  • steel wool
  • student teacher
  • “sweet sorrow” (Shakespeare 1595)
  • terribly good
  • theoretical experience
  • transparent night (Whitman 1865)
  • true fiction
  • unbiased opinion
  • unconscious awareness
  • upward fall
  • wise fool
  • working vacation

Wingspread Ezine for September, 2023

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

  • Blessed Unbeliever now available in Australia!
  • Writer’s Corner
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

The novel was written partly for people of nonfaith. I am happy some have read it and commented on it. I am thrilled that Koorong, largest Christian book publisher in Australia, will distribute Blessed Unbeliever.

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Tip for writers: After finishing your rough draft, label each paragraph with an italicized word or phrase at the beginning of each paragraph. For example, Sally meets John. Use WORD “outline” mode and select “first line only.” You will see only the first lines of all your paragraphs, including your italicized labels. Easy now to see the structure of your piece, and to move paragraphs around to create a better flow.

Word of the month: SKIPLAGGING. Refers to air travel. You book a through flight with one stop in-between and you get off at the in-between stop. The airlines don’t like this because sometimes they lose money.

I asked which five books you would take if stranded on a desert island: I dunno, but here are my ideas of books and authors: Bible, Cadfael Chronicles by Ellis Peters, Henry Noewen, Charles Dickens, C.S. Lewis.

Really though—if you’re an atheist you need church as much as believers do! Behold, all the benefits of churchgoing—singing, making friends, potlucks, social service, moral guidance, coming of age rituals (e.g., confirmation, graduation), social intensification rituals (e.g., births, baptisms, weddings, funerals). You may find a loving, accountability group (e.g., Christian AA) that offers hope instead of despair. You will find a good job-seeker network. A support group for life crises. A place to get married or buried. A place that offers meaning to your life. You might even find free babysitting! You can have all these things without abandoning atheism because so much of church life does not demand any belief in the supernatural

Turns out that churchgoing is good for your health. A 2020 study published in the International Journal of Epidemiology reported that church attenders had a 26% reduced risk of dying and a 34% lower risk of heavy drinking. Church attendance was also associated with less anxiety, depression, hopelessness and loneliness. Church attenders lean toward healthy family and community behaviors. You’ll find good mentors who will hold you accountable and give you honest critique. If you’re older, just getting out of the house and doing something—anything—is good for you. If you’re younger, hey, it might be worth going just to make your parents happy! . . .To read more, click herehttps://jimhurd.com/2023/08/31/churched-atheists/   Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

Adapted from Car Talk Puzzler archives

Here is a list of six words.

  • Mother
  • Father
  • Cousin
  • Uncle
  • Brother
  • Aunt

Which one of these words does not belong, and why?
 

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Remember that a man’s son asked about hitting 160 miles per hour in both the Mustang and the BMW. How did the man know that the BMW would not hit that speed, and that the Mustang would?

Because when he looked down at the speedometer, he also looked at the tachometer.  Both of these cars redline at about 6000 RPM. So, at 60 miles an hour which he was traveling at that time, the BMW was doing 3100 RPMs. And he knew that at 120 miles an hour, it would be beyond the redline and incapable of doing 160 miles an hour. 

And the Mustang he was driving at 60 miles an hour was doing less than 2000 RPM. It was running around 1750 at 60 miles per hour. So at that point, he knew that this car could possibly get to 160 without redlining. 

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If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad; promise!) Thanks.

How many of these 21st century words do you know?

  • Particularity
  • Intersectionality
  • BLM
  • Cancel culture
  • Othering
  • Rewilding
  • Phubbing
  • Skiplagging
  • Social Media acronyms
    • ICYMI
    • IMHO
    • LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, ROFL, IJBOL
    • FOMO
    • GOAT
    • YOLO

You knew somebody would think of this sooner or later . . .

While there are many, here is one person’s list of the Top 20 Yogi-isms*:
  1. “When you come to a fork in the road…. take it.”
  2. “You can observe a lot by just watching.”
  3. “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
  4. “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
  5. “No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.”
  6. “I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.”
  7. “Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.”
  8. “In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”
  9. “Pair up in threes.”
  10. “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.”
  11. “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
  12. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”
  13. “If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.”
  14. “You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go.”
  15. “Ninety percent of the game is half mental.”
  16. “Never answer an anonymous letter.”
  17. “Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.”
  18. “Take it with a grin of salt.”
  19. “It gets late early out here.”
  20. “I never said most of the things I said.”

*Yogi Berra played catcher for 18 seasons with the New York Yankees.

Happy reading and writing!

WINGSPREAD for July, 2023


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
July 2023                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this Ezine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Blessed Unbeliever available
  • Writer’s Corner
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

BLESSED UNBELIEVER 

Sean McIntosh lives in a California world of Fundamentalist certainty—until his world unravels. He fails to make sense of losing his girlfriend and losing his dream of becoming a missionary pilot. And he’s shaken by contradictions and mistakes he finds in the Bible. His missionary zeal morphs into religious doubt. His despair leads him to commit a blasphemous act and declare himself an atheist—all this while he’s attending Torrey Bible Institute! But Grace pursues.

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: Whether writing fiction or nonfiction, try writing in the first-person present tense. Instead of “Sean walked downtown,” write “I am walking downtown.” Makes the action more immediate, personal. It’s harder to write this way, but worth trying.

Word of the Month:  PROBLEMATIZE. I use this word to refer to questioning a convention. Instead of agreeing with the majority, raise questions, challenge conventional statements. This energizes the reader—even if they disagree with you.

Book of the month: HEBRIDEAN ALTARS by Alistair Maclean. A marvelous collection of stories, prayers, poems and saying from the people of the Scottish Hebrides Islands over the centuries. Good for prayer and meditation.

Question for you: Have you written a short story or poem? Send it to me and I may post it on my Wingspread blog.

New story: World Over the Wall

I visualize my Southern California childhood, filled with snowless winters, hot summers and throat-burning Los Angeles smog that dissipates only when the dry Santana winds blow in from the desert. I see myself lying on our backyard grass under our wooden windmill clothesline, gazing up at the clouds and dreaming childish dreams—dreams that Mother feeds. When I tell Mother I’m bored, she says, “Read King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table,” or “Let’s play cards.” Our Fundamentalist church frowns on playing with regular “Euchre deck” cards, so we play Authors, where each suit has a picture of an author and each card is one of the author’s books . . .

To read more, click here:  https://wordpress.com/post/jimhurd.com/3518

(Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler

Adapted from Car Talk Puzzler archives

It was a beautiful sunny summer afternoon in 1958. And I was driving my new car.

I came to an intersection and stopped, and there on the sidewalk stood a pedestrian waiting to cross the street. He noticed that I had stopped.

I remained where I was at the intersection. He stepped off the sidewalk and walked right into the right front fender of my car.

Explain the reason for this curious behavior. 

(Answer in next month’s Wingspread ezine.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

The question was, what is the capital of Liberia and why was the capital given that name?

In the early 1800s, many white people in the United States became concerned over the existence of freed slaves in their country. Some slave owners believed that the existence of freed slaves increased discontent among those still in slavery. Other white people objected to the integration of the black freed slaves into this society. So in 1816, a group of white Americans established the American Colonization Society, ACS, and what the society did was to return free black people to their home continent, Africa. 

So the ACS bought land on the west coast of Africa and started a settlement. They named it Liberia. 

And the capital of Liberia was named Monrovia, after the then President, James Monroe. 

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If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

An elderly couple found themselves fighting all the time so they made an appointment with a marriage counselor. Because it seemed serious, the counselor asked to meet with each of them separately.

Alone, the wife confessed, “I don’t know. We’ve been married for almost 50 years, but the last few years all we do is argue; we can never agree on anything.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“It’s so bad. I’ve given up. I’m praying that God will take one of us home. . . And when he does, I’m going to go live with my sister.”

Socks that go missing in the laundry come back as Tupperware lids.

Fight like the third monkey on the ramp to Noah’s ark.  Mike Huckabee

The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself. ― Albert Camus

 USER: The word computer professionals use . . .
when they mean idiot.

As soon as the hospital put me in one of those little gowns . . .
I knew the end was in sight.

It is better to live one day as a lion . . .
than 100 years as a sheep.

The lion shall lie down with the lamb . . .
but the lamb won’t get much sleep.

Bigamy is having one wife too many . . .
Monogamy is the same thing.

I have Van Gogh’s ear for music.

WINGSPREAD Ezine for April 2023


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world

April 2023                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Blessed Unbeliever published!
  • Writer’s Corner
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

BLESSED UNBELIEVER is on the shelves!

In Blessed Unbeliever, Sean McIntosh lives in a California world of Fundamentalist certainty—until that world unravels. Now he’s shaken by contradictions in the Bible. Plus he’s trying to make sense of losing his girlfriend and losing his dream of becoming a missionary pilot. His despair leads him to commit a blasphemous act while at Torrey Bible Institute, Chicago. But, despite his honest attempt at atheism, grace pursues.

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Writer’s Corner

Word of the Month: TYPESET or GALLEY version. The book is laid out, formatted and returned to the author for final corrections. (I found 100 errors in the typeset version of Blessed Unbeliever!)

Tip of the month: It’s helpful to sketch out your whole book. For each chapter or section, briefly list major scenes, major characters and major events, and maybe even the weather! This allows you to see the whole topography of your chronology and plot. Even Charles Dickens did this.

Author of the month: CHARLES DICKENS

Born in Portsmouth in 1812, Dickens saw his whole family sent to debtors’ prison while he himself was apprenticed to hard labor with a bootblack. His difficult life informed several of his novels (Pickwick Papers, David Copperfield, Hard Times, Bleak House).  The epitaph at his tomb in Poets’ Corner, Westminster Abbey reads: “. . . He was a sympathiser with the poor, the suffering, and the oppressed; and by his death, one of England’s greatest writers is lost to the world.”

Book of the month: Dickens based David Copperfield partly on the struggles in his own life. Here, he created one of his most infamous characters: the “‘umble” Uriah Heep.

Your turn: Who is the most interesting character you’ve ever read about, biographical or fictional? Why? (I’ll list some of these in the next ezine.)

New story: Muleticos: A graceful disaster

In Thee we trust, whate’er befall;
Thy sea is great, our boats are small.

—Henry van Dyke, from “O Maker of the Mighty Deep”

I see Muleticos airstrip appear from behind a hill—my last stop for the day. I test the brake pedals—they’re firm. Here in northwest Colombia the tiny grass airstrips dotting the landscape appear more like pastures than runways. Airstrips that most pilots would eschew. Turns out I should have eschewed Muleticos that day.

To read more, click here: Muleticos: A graceful disaster | Wingspread (jimhurd.com)    

(Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler: Ralph on a Jet Plane

Adapted from Car Talk Puzzler archives

Ralph, an auto mechanic, has to catch a flight late on a Friday night after a long workday but he’s forgotten to bring his change of clothes. So he changes into a crisp new mechanics uniform that he finds in the shop.

When he walks through security the metal detector alarm sounds. So the guard goes, “Excuse me, sir, would you kindly empty the contents of your pockets?”

So, Ralph empties his pockets. Puts all his stuff in the little tray. Wallet, keys,  everything. He tries to walk through again, but the alarm goes off again. So they ask him to remove any jewelry he has or his belt and try to walk through again. He does that and then walks through a third time. And the alarm goes off, for the third time. 

So finally, the guard looks at him and says, “What do you do for a living?”

And Ralph says, “I’m a mechanic, I fix cars.”

The guard smiles and says, “Oh; that explains it.”

So, what’s happening here? Hint: it wasn’t just auto repair mechanics that were having this issue. And remember, this was a long time ago, so this issue never happens now. But it happened then.

(Answer in next month’s Wingspread ezine.)

Last month’s puzzler. Recall the three candidates for a detective job. The head detective gives them a test, with a clue in one of the town’s libraries “stuck inside a book between pages 165 and 166.” Two of the candidates rushed out the door. The third just sat there—and he got the job. Why?

Answer: Everyone knows this, but not many people think about it. There is nothing between pages 165 and 166, just as there’s nothing between pages one and two of the book. Page one is the right-hand page and page two is printed on the back of that page.

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

Football Wisdom

“Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport.” 
– Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State 

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, the coach’s post-game message to his
team was: “All those who need showers, take them.” 
– John McKay / USC 

 If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.” 
– Murray Warmath / Minnesota 

“The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.” 
– Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

“We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.” 
– Darrell Royal / Texas 

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” 
– John McKay / USC 

“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.” 
– Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

Why do Auburn fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday. 

Mary brings good News to Eve

WINGSPREAD Ezine for February, 2023


“Spreading your wings in a perplexing world”

February 2023                                                            James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with anyone. Thank you.

Contents

  • Blessed Unbeliever release
  • Writer’s Corner
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

BLESSED UNBELIEVER is published!

In Blessed Unbeliever, Sean McIntosh has good reason to doubt his fundamentalist faith— he’s just lost his girlfriend and his life dream of aviation. But when he turns to unbelief, he finds it harder than he ever imagined—especially at Torrey Bible Institute! So he commits a secret act of blasphemy to convince himself he is an atheist. It’s a long journey back to his girlfriend, his life dream, and his faith. (Wipf and Stock, January 2023.)

Order:  https://wipfandstock.com/9781666756951/blessed-unbeliever/

Or, click HERE to view on Amazon.com  (Amazon also has an electronic Kindle version.)

Writers’ Corner

Word of the Month: ENDORSEMENT: A few sentences recommending a book—often found on the back cover.

Tip of the month: Normally, you do not use a comma if you’re joining two sentences:

Wrong: Bill went downtown, and Sally went to the country.

Correct: Bill went downtown and Sally went to the country.

Author of the month: IGNATIUS. A first century Christian bishop who, while on the way to Rome to die a martyr’s death, wrote a letter to Bishop Polycarp in which he speaks of the invisible God become visible. An early proclamation of the Christ.

Book of the month: CELTIC DAILY PRAYER. (Books I and II.) Northumbria Community. A marvelous book of scriptures and daily readings, including writings by Celtic Christians.

Immortal lines in movies. Eric contributed: “It’s too bad she won’t live, but then again, who does?” (one policeman to another in Blade Runner)

Yes, but why are you here?

New story: Chiapas Air Ambulance

https://jimhurd.com/2023/02/01/chiapas-air-ambulance/

We’re circling over Corralito, a remote airstrip in Chiapas State, Mexico. I check for animals on the strip and wonder if the injured Tzeltal Indian man is still alive. The tiny strip lies tucked in below a cornfield on a terraced hillside, so I need to approach around a low hill. At the last minute the airstrip appears in my windshield. We bank, line up with the strip and soon feel the long grass under our wheels as we taxi the red and white Cessna 180 over to where Mario lies inert on a stretcher with his tumid stomach bulging below his pulled-up shirt.

Antonio, his brother, stands by mute while another man talks to me in Spanish. “Capitán, Mario was feeding stalks into the trapiche sugar cane press when the horse’s bar turned and squeezed him against the press.” As we lay the injured man in the airplane, I think, he’s young; he has a good chance of pulling through. . . .  To read more, click above.

(Leave a comment on the website and share with others: https://jimhurd.com . Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler:

Drake, the head detective, has three candidates who’ve applied for an assistant detective job, so he decides to test them with a little quiz. “Look guys, there’s a crime that needs to be solved and there’s a clue in one of the public libraries in Bakersfield. The clue is stuck inside a book, between pages 165 and 166. The book was written by two famous brothers about cars.”

Two of the guys jump up and bolt out the door. The third guy just sits there. Drake says, “You got the job.” Why did he get the job? What did he know that the other two guys didn’t know?  Hint: an author might be more likely to get this puzzler. (Answer next month.)

Last month’s puzzler: Recall that Mrs. Simmons, the suburban housewife, was very fond of her mother-in-law. One morning after breakfast, she went shopping and then stopped as she often did, to have a mid-morning cup of coffee with the older woman. When Mrs. Simmons returned home, the first thing she saw was the grizzly remains of her husband . . .

Instead of calling a doctor or the police, she calmly went about her domestic chores. Why?

Answer: Walking in her door, Mrs. Simmons viewed the vase containing her husband’s cremains.

Subscribe free to this Ezine : 

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

 Creative new words:   

Reintarnation (n.): coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Sarchasm (n.): the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Osteopornosis (n.): a degenerate disease

Decafhalon (n.): getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Beelzebug (n.): satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three a.m. and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): the color you turn when you discover only half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Cashtration (n.): the act of buying a house that renders the subject financially impotent.

Intaxication (n.): euphoria at getting a tax refund, then realizing it was always your money anyway.

Karmageddon (n.): It’s like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

I mean, you’ve got to be kidding.

Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

#9. Death is the number one killer in the world.

#8. Life is sexually transmitted.

#7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6. Men have two motivations: hunger and sex, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2. In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Wingspread Ezine for January, 2023


“Spreading your wings in a perplexing world”

January 2023                                                  James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with anyone. Thank you.

Contents

  • Blessed Unbeliever release!
  • Writers Corner
  • New story: Clutchers Car Club
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

BLESSED UNBELIEVER is in press!

In Blessed Believer, Sean McIntosh has good reason to doubt his fundamentalist faith— he’s just lost his girlfriend and his life dream of aviation. But when he turns to unbelief, he finds it harder than he ever imagined—especially at Torrey Bible Institute! So he commits a secret act of sacrilege to convince himself he’s an atheist. It’s a long journey back to his girlfriend, his life dream, and his faith. (Wipf and Stock, 2023.)

Buy here: https://wipfandstock.com/9781666756951/blessed-unbeliever/
or on Amazon (Kindle format coming soon).

Writers Corner

Word of the Month: ENDORSEMENTS: The short paragraphs written on the back cover, recommending a book to the reader (see above).

Tip of the month: PROOFREADING. 1. Print out your piece and read it out loud to yourself. 2. Get a couple of people (readers or writers preferred) to read your piece through. 3. Professional proofreading is expensive but may be necessary.

Your turn:     What is the most memorable line you’re read, or heard in a movie? Email me your favorite at hurd@usfamily.net. Example: Where Harry says, “Go ahead; make my day” (Clint Eastwood, Sudden Impact, 1983).

I’ll post your responses here next week.

Last week I asked you about the best short story you’ve ever read. Two of my personal favorites come to mind.

Jack London, “Two Boys on a Mountain.” Makes your hands sweat.

Nathaniel Hawthorne, “The Hollow of the Three Hills,” about an unfaithful wife encountering a witch. Horror and despair.

This is the woman I married . . .

New story: Clutchers Car Club  

 https://jimhurd.com/2023/01/03/clutchers-car-club/

This is a background story based on my novel, Blessed Unbeliever, about Sean McIntosh and Kathleen Wilberforce in the 1950s. It gives some background on Reggie Radcliffe, Sean’s enemy.

After he arrived at Stanton, Reggie Radcliffe single-handedly birthed the Clutchers Car Club—a coterie of church kids, all motorheads. One dark Tuesday night in spring 1959, the Clutchers gathered as usual in the barn at Jeff Adam’s Villa Park orange ranch. A dry Santa Ana wind whipped the branches, flinging oranges off the trees like projectiles. Cars pulled in and parked among the trees. As the guys walked into the barn, which was swept and all alight, a small radio played Bobby Darin—“I want a dream lover, so I don’t have to dream alone. . . .”    
To read more, click above   

(Leave a comment on the website and share with others: https://jimhurd.com . Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler

This is from a book of riddles collected by Agnes Rogers. Mrs. Simmons, a suburban housewife, was very fond of her mother-in-law. One morning after breakfast, she went shopping and then stopped as she often did, to have a mid-morning cup of coffee with the older woman. When Mrs. Simmons returned home, the first thing she saw was the grizzly remains of her husband . . .

Instead of calling a doctor or the police, she calmly went about her domestic chores. Why?

Answer to last month’s puzzler: You recall the defendant was rightly convicted by the jury but the judge was compelled to let him go free. Why? Answer: The guy was one half of a Siamese twin and it would have been unfair to the other half if the guy was imprisoned. (I know: a rare occurrence, and kind of a lame puzzler! Please do not erase me from your memory!  😊)

“Was it something I said?”

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

There’s this hot dog stand, and a Buddhist walks up and says, “Make me one with everything.” 

Why did the Hindu patient refuse to take Novocain from the Buddhist dentist?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.

“We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”   C.S. Lewis

More football

“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.” 
– Frank Leahy / Notre Dame 

“He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
-Ohio State’s Urban Meyer on one of his players: 

“I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s” 
– Alex Karras / Iowa