WINGSPREAD Ezine for December, 2022


“Spreading your wings in a perplexing world”

December 2022                                                           James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with anyone. Thank you.

Contents

  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Believer is in press!
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

This is your Christmas meme. (You’re welcome.)

New story: “Why Do I Make Stupid Mistakes?”

I do stupid things. I know; everyone does. But I’ve elevated it to an art form. I turn on the wrong stove burner, miss doctor’s appointments, forget to put the car in park. I’ve locked my padlock key in the gym locker, forgotten to close the garage door for the night, forgotten to lock the house doors, showed up for a wedding, and later a funeral, on the wrong day, turned into the wrong side of a divided highway, backed into a light pole guywire, etc.

Take when I crashed my 2011 Toyota Prius. The hybrid Prius is easy to get used to. But being a hybrid, the car runs on an engine plus an electric motor, and the car can be “on” even when the engine is stopped.

This day I pull up to our mailbox and put the four-way flashers on. When I jump out, the car begins rolling forward until I jump back in and slam on the brake.

Another time I’m waiting in line for gas and get out to see how many cars are ahead of me. The car starts rolling. I jump in and brake just before I slam into the car in front of me.

I tell myself, “I’ll never do that again.” But  I do, and the next time I pay for it. . . .

To read more, click here:   https://jimhurd.com/2022/12/06/why-do-i-make-stupid-mistakes/

(Leave a comment on the website and share with others: https://jimhurd.com . Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler

(Thanks to Tom and Ray, “Car Talk”)

A man is accused of a crime. He comes before a judge and jury and is tried for said crime. Wicked crime, like murder or something. A heinous crime, indeed. 

And he is convicted. The judge says, “Your guilt has been proven. The jury has found you guilty. Yet by law, I am compelled to set you free.”

The jury has found him guilty. What kind of a crime could he have committed that the judge is bound to set him free? 

(Hints: He did not commit suicide; no statute of limitations issues)

(Another hint: It’s kind of a stupid answer . . . or at least very rare, but it makes sense.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Fred and Gertie. The car’s out of gas. He tells her to lock the doors and don’t let anyone in; he’s going to walk back to the gas station. When he comes back with a few gallons of gas, there is also a police officer outside the car. They approach the car simultaneously. And there they see Gertie lying in the back seat apparently unconscious. And in the seat next to her is a stranger!

But the car is locked, windows up, sunroof shut tight. She didn’t let anyone in. There is no evidence at all that anyone has broken into the car, and she did not unlock it.

The policeman seeing this whole thing now doesn’t ask any questions of anyone, including the stranger. Immediately, he knew exactly what happened. 

So, what happened to Gertie? Who is the stranger? And how did he get it?

And here is the answer: There was no foul play. Gertie passed out in the throes of childbirth. The stranger was their newborn child and that’s why no one asked any questions. And that’s why no one had to break in. And of course, we all now know where the stranger came from. (Let’s hope Gertie fully recovers.)

Writers’ Corner

“Blessed Unbeliever” is in press!

In Blessed Believer, Sean McIntosh has good reason to doubt his fundamentalist faith: he’s just lost his girlfriend and his life dream of aviation. He burns his Bible but finds atheism harder than he ever imagined—especially at Torrey Bible Institute! Can he find his way back to faith?(Wipf and Stock, fall, 2023. Launch party, advance discounts, excerpts, book signings, etc. to follow.)

Tip of the month: Do not forget the DENOUEMENT—the explanation of how things turn out in the story. Don’t leave the reader hanging. Pull all the loose ends together.

Word of the Month: PLOT ARC. The rise and fall of the action throughout the novel. Parts of the plot arc: inciting incident, the problem, trying to solve the problem, the crisis, the resolution of the problem, denouement

Religious disingenuity

YOUR TURN:     What is the greatest, best short story you have ever read, and why? (I will list your picks in our next newsletter.)      

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

Football

Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football . . .” 
– John Heisman, first football coach at Rice 

“I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.” 
– Bear Bryant / Alabama 

“It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!” 
– Knute Rockne / Notre Dame 

“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. 
That costs money, and we don’t have any.” 
– Erik Russell / Georgia Southern 

“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.” 
– Lou Holtz / Arkansas – Notre Dame 

“When you win, nothing hurts.” 
– Joe Namath / Alabama 

“I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.” 
– Bob Devaney / Nebraska 

“My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor.” 
– Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee 

“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.” 
– Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State 

(This one requires a bit of biblical knowledge)

Why Do I Make Stupid Mistakes?

I do stupid things. I know; everyone does. But I’ve elevated it to an art form. I turn on the wrong stove burner, miss doctor’s appointments, forget to put the car in park. I’ve locked my padlock key in the gym locker, forgotten to close the garage door for the night, forgotten to lock the house doors, showed up for a wedding, and later a funeral, on the wrong day, turned into the wrong side of a divided highway, backed into a light pole guywire.

Take when I crashed my 2011 Toyota Prius. The hybrid Prius is easy to get used to. But being a hybrid, the car runs on an engine plus an electric motor, and the car can be “on” even when the engine is stopped.

This day I pull up to our mailbox and put the four-way flashers on. When I jump out, the car begins rolling forward until I jump back in and slam on the brake.

Another time I’m waiting in line for gas and get out to see how many cars are ahead of me. The car starts rolling. I jump in and brake just before I slam into the car in front of me.

I tell myself, “I’ll never do that again.” But  I do, and the next time I pay for it.

I pull into my garage and sit there with my foot still on the brake, listening to MPR on the radio. The engine has stopped. After five minutes I turn the radio off and get out. The car then runs ahead into my workbench and damages the bumper ($700). Once again I’d forgotten to put the car in park and also forgotten to turn the car off.

Why did this happen? For starters, I was stopping the car for long periods of time keeping my foot on the brake without putting the car in park. Then I was taking my foot off the brake without checking that the car was in park or turned off.

Then there was the time I ran a red light. We are leaving my friend’s medical appointment in an unfamiliar part of the city. I’m talking animatedly about his procedure, our families, church. I approach an intersection, carefully look both ways—and then roll through a red light! I was focused on our conversation instead of focusing on my driving.

Worse when people do stupid stuff in the air. I flew a twin engine Cessna 310 to Amarillo, Texas, and offered to take three friends up for a ride. After we take off and climb to 4000 feet, I switch from using the main fuel tanks to the auxiliary tanks. Then I decide to practice flying single engine, so I shut down and feather the right engine. All goes well, but when I try to restart the engine it won’t start. I’m slowly losing altitude. I add full power on the good engine and frantically try to restart the dead engine. Nothing. Still losing altitude.

I decide we’ll have to land on a single engine, so I enter the Amarillo traffic pattern. We’re sinking lower and lower and I worry we won’t make the runway. I am so obsessed trying to restart the engine that I fail to check other systems.

I start my prelanding checklist and almost too late, I realize three things. I should never have practiced engine shutdown with a full load of passengers. The extended landing gear is creating more drag and causing our rapid descent.

Plus, I notice I’m still running on the aux fuel tanks. I switch the tanks back to mains and the engine immediately starts. Turns out that only the main fuel tanks have a boost pump to push the gas up to the engines. So you always need to start the engines on the main tank.

So how do I avoid doing stupid stuff? Problem is, there are different kinds of stupid mistakes. We can divide them into mistakes of knowledge, of skill, and of judgment.

First, mistakes of knowledge.  When I ran the red light, I didn’t know the streets and intersections well; first time I’d been in that area of town. In the Cessna 310 case, I did not know the fuel valve had to be on the main tank for starting.

Once I worked three hours trying to fix the brakes on my car. Then I checked out a YouTube video and was able to finish the job in twenty minutes. I needed more knowledge.

Flight instructing at Orange County Airport (now John Wayne Airport), my boss told me to test-fly a repaired plane. I jumped into the little Ercoupe (“so simple anyone can fly it”) and took off. When I came back to land in a roaring crosswind, I just about wrapped it up in a little aluminum ball. I should have known that the landing gear swivels so that the airplane can land with its nose cocked into the wind. I hadn’t even glanced at the owner’s manual. Lack of knowledge almost killed me.

Preplanning builds knowledge. Once we were driving with some friends to a small-town event in Wisconsin and ended up driving one hour north instead of south. We missed the event. If I would have studied  a map, we would have arrived in time.

Renting a car? Speeding away from the rental office at night, in the rain, in an unfamiliar car, in an unfamiliar city makes for some interesting (and dangerous) gymnastics in the first ten minutes. Always take the time to check out mirror-adjusts, emergency brake, headlights, four-ways, instrument panel, windshield wipers before moving.

A planning calendar, consulted weekly or even daily, means fewer missed appointments. In aviation, many (fatal) accidents could have been avoided if the pilot had checked the weather conditions beforehand. In flying, as in driving, you cannot do too much preplanning before you go.

Second, mistakes of skill. With my Prius, I had the knowledge; I knew how the hybrid system worked. But I had not practiced driving the car in various scenarios. I hadn’t developed good skills, such as never stopping without putting the car in park, or never removing my foot from the brake without checking to see if the car begins rolling.

In aviation, instructors talk about “overlearning”—continued practicing after you have learned a maneuver. Many states restrict driving privileges at night until the driver has practiced during the daytime.

My flight instructor would tell me, “Report incidents; prevent accidents.” Pay attention to incidents. An incident means you need more practice.

In aviation we practice emergency landings, flying with instrument failures, flying in unexpected weather. One should also (safely) practice emergencies in driving a car—loss of brakes, loss of steering, uncontrolled skids. Practice makes perfect.

Checklists build skill. With the Cessna 310, I failed to use the emergency checklist that would have reminded me to switch to main tanks for startup. Even in a car, it’s good to have a checklist. Checklists reduce the chance of missing something.

Be intentional. Do not rely on “muscle memory”—those automatic movements you are familiar with. Once my friend was flying, coming in to land. We were talking. He automatically reached down to pull on the carburetor heat but pulled the mixture instead. The engine stopped until I yelled, “mixture!”

A friend was transitioning to a new airplane. He landed, then reached over to raise the flaps—and pulled the landing gear up underneath him! In this new airplane, the landing gear lever was in the same location as the flaps lever in the previous plane.

Distractions. Managing distractions is a learned skill. After running the red light, I realized I needed to stop talking and concentrate on my driving in an unfamiliar environment. Other distractions: trying to talk to someone sitting in the back seat, juggling a soft drink and a sandwich while fiddling with the heater and the GPS. Answering your cellphone. Many pilots have the rule of a “sterile cockpit”: no talking or other distractions five minutes before takeoff or five minutes before landing. I try to have the rule of no distractions when driving through an intersection or even when driving in an unfamiliar neighborhood. For instance, I turn the radio off.

But mistakes of judgment are the most dangerous.

Risk factors. Years ago I drove through a construction zone at high speed—at night, in the rain, tired. I saw fast-moving bright lights, swerved, and barely missed a huge rumbling earthmover. I had underestimated the multiple risk factors: Night. Windy. Unfamiliar road. Construction zone. Exhausted driver. Any one of these is manageable but when they pile up, you’re in danger. For instance, you may be safe driving at night, but if it’s windy and the roads are icy, you’ve multiplied your risk factors. You must be conscious of how many risk factors you’re dealing with. Three strikes and you’re out.Good judgment demands assessing the risk factors.

Overconfidence. I ran the red light not only because I was distracted; I was also overconfident. Most people assume they’re better drivers than other people. We tend to overestimate our abilities—think about the sixteen-year-old boy who drives confidently at 100 mph in a residential neighborhood. The greatest judgment mistake is overconfidence.

So, how to avoid doing stupid things? Here’s a starter list:

  • Read the instructions (written or digital)
  • Plan carefully before executing a complex task
  • Consider a written checklist and follow it
  • Practice emergencies before you experience them
  • Take “incidents” very seriously, and change your behavior
  • Be intentional; don’t rely on muscle memory
  • Reduce distractions
  • Remember that multiple danger factors multiply risk
  • Avoid the trap of overconfidence

We all need to learn more, practice more, and use better judgment. I still do stupid things—just not quite as often.

Here’s to your increased safety!

WINGSPREAD Ezine for November, 2022

“Spreading your wings in a perplexing world”

November 2022                                                           James P. Hurd

Please forward, and share this Ezine with anyone. Thank you.

Contents

  • Wingspread E-zine subscription information
  • New story” “Saving at the Pump”
  • This month’s puzzler and last month’s winner
  • Writer’s Corner
  • New novel (Blessed Unbeliever) is sent to publisher!
  • How to purchase Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying

*****************************************

 Buy James Hurd’s Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying  How childhood (Fundamentalist) faith led to mission bush-piloting in South America—and Barbara. Buy it here:  https://jimhurd.com/home/  (or order it at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc.) 

See pics here related to Wingspread: Of Faith and Flying: http://www.pinterest.com/hurd1149/wingspread-of-faith-and-flying/

New story: Saving at the pump

It seemed so simple. I needed gas, so I stopped at Holiday to fill up, clutching my five-cent discount coupon and my Cub discount card. But the pump wouldn’t scan the five-cent discount card so I walked in.

Me: Can I use this five-cent discount coupon along with my Cub card discount for gas?

He: Yep. But you can’t scan the discount coupon at the pump.

Me: Okay. I’ll pump my gas, then come in and pay.

He: We don’t do that anymore. You have to either prepay or use your credit card at the pump.

Me: But I can’t use my discount card at the pump.

He: You can, but you have to prepay.

Me: Okay. I’ll prepay, but I want to fill up the tank.

He: How many gallons does it hold?

Me: Dunno. It’s almost empty. . .

To read more, click here:   https://jimhurd.com/2022/11/01/saving-at-holiday-with-coupons/

(*Please leave a comment on the website. Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler: Ask No Questions

(Thanks to Tom and Ray, “Car Talk”)

On this particular day, Fred and Gertie are in the car and he is driving way too fast. He realizes he is about to run out of gas. So, he decides to pull over on the side of the highway. He pulls over into the far-right lane, and then realizes that he went past the exit for the gas station about half a mile back. He decides to run back to the exit to get gas. He tells his wife Gertie, “Hey, lock the doors and don’t let anyone in. I’ll be back in a flash. Lock the doors and don’t let anyone in, no matter what.”

He goes off down the road. Sometime later, he comes back with a few gallons of gasoline. And as he approaches the car, he sees a police car stopping with flashing lights. He and the police arrive at the car simultaneously. Both Fred and the police look into the car. It is still locked. Gertie is inside, unconscious. Possibly near death’s door. And there is a stranger in the car. The husband opens the door because he has the key, of course. And the policeman sees Gertie and the stranger. 

But he asks no questions as to what has happened to Gertie.

Here are the puzzler questions. How did the stranger get into the car? Gertie did not open the door, and it was locked on all sides, windows were rolled up, vents closed and the sunroof shut tight.

So, what happened to Gertie? Why was she unconscious?

Who was the stranger? How did the stranger get in?

Good luck with this one!

Answer to last month’s puzzler and announcing the winner! 

Recall that your captors drop you off by helicopter in the middle of a long, narrow island, leaving you with only a box of matches, a flashlight, a blanket, and a large jug of water. Lightning strikes and starts a fire at one end of the island. Worse, a strong wind is blowing the fire toward you. You cannot escape from the island. How do you save yourself from the flames?

What you do is use a firefighters’ trick. You start a fire and let the wind carry it. This will make a firebreak that will spread downwind. After it is burned you can take shelter in it and it will stop the fire. You’re safe.

 (‘Course you’ll soon starve, but that’s another issue.)

Puzzler winner: A random pick from all the correct answers revealed that the winner is (drumroll . . .): Steve Eckhardt, St. Paul! He’ll receive a free copy of my book: Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying. Thanks.

Writers’ Corner

Today, I delivered Blessed Unbeliever (provisional title) into the hands of Wipf and Stock (Eugene, Oregon)! I expect it to be published this summer. Launch party, advance discounts, excerpts, book signings, etc. to follow.

Sean McIntosh grows up and is baptized in a fundamentalist church that provides answers to all his questions. But now, he asks:

  • Why did my father die young?
  • Why did Reggie steal Kathleen away from me? (Reggie’s not even a real fundamentalist)
  • Why did I fail in getting into the aviation program when that is all I ever wanted to do?
  • Why do I have so many doubts about the Bible and about prayer?
  • And, how do I raise any of these doubts if I’m stuck in a Bible Institute that provides answers, but answers to very different questions? I think I’ll try out atheism
  • How does a person do atheism well? . . .

Tip of the month: Your first draft should contain no adjectives and especially no adverbs. You can always go back and stick one in if it’s indispensable. For instance, Elmore Leonard used to say, “Never use the word ‘suddenly’; never.” This beautifully leans down your writing: your goal is strong nouns and verbs.

Words of the Month: FRENEMY, PORTMANTEAU. The first, frenemy, illustrates why no one should have to learn all the new words people are coining. It means friendship with someone you dislike, or conflict with someone you like. Why do I need to learn this? You should decide either/or; don’t pee down both legs of your pants. Portmanteau is an old-timey word meaning a large suitcase. But here it is used to mean crunching two words together: frenemy (friend-enemy) or podcast (ipod broadcast). So, if you don’t know either word, or don’t want to learn either, no worries—you can do just fine without either of them.

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom:

The Amish answer to climate change

Things to ponder:

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a clinic to donate blood. The doctor says to the rabbit: “What’s your blood type?” With great sadness, the rabbit replied, “I’m probably a Typo”

My husband and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.’
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said ‘We’re sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.’
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD’s.

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, ‘You need a 1/4 horsepower.’
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, ‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.’
We haven’t used that repairman since…

I live in a semi-rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: ‘Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

 

Follow “james hurd” on Facebook, or “@hurdjp” on Twitter

 

Spread your wings this month!

Saving at the Pump

It seemed so simple. I needed gas, so I stopped at Holiday to fill up, clutching my five-cent discount coupon and my Cub discount card. But the pump wouldn’t scan the five-cent discount card so I walked in.

Me: Can I use this five-cent discount coupon along with my Cub card discount for gas?

He: Yep. But you can’t scan the discount coupon at the pump.

Me: Okay. I’ll pump my gas, then come in and pay.

He: We don’t do that anymore. You have to either prepay or use your credit card at the pump.

Me: But I can’t use my discount card at the pump.

He: You can, but you have to prepay.

Me: Okay. I’ll prepay, but I want to fill up the tank.

He: How many gallons does it hold?

Me: Dunno. It’s almost empty.

He: Well, how many gallons do you want to prepay?

Me: I guess I’ll prepay ten gallons.

I pay with my bank card, plus give him the five-cent discount coupon plus the Cub discount card.

He: Okay. Here’s your receipt.

Me: But this shows I paid the full amount, with no discounts.

He: They’ll take it off at the pump.

I go to the pump and the pump does not reflect any discounts. I try to insert my Cub card and it won’t take it. So I lift the 87 octane lever and start pumping. It takes 9.6 gallons to fill it. I go back into the store.

Me: It didn’t take ten gallons. And it didn’t show any discount. Can you refund me?

He: Oh; they’ll take it off your credit card bill.

So I go home and check the purchase online for my credit card. The purchase is posted at the full price and says “pending.” I wait two days. No longer pending, but they’ve charged the full ten gallons and given me no discounts. I go back to Holiday.

Me: I got gas here a couple days ago with my discount cards and they charged me full price, plus they charged me for ten gallons and I only pumped 9.6 gallons.

He: Give it about five days and see if they credit your discount.

A few days later I see a puzzling $2.99 credited to my credit card with no explanation. Does that cover my overcharge plus give me the discounts?

Next time I go in, I prepay seven gallons. They ring it up with the five-cent discount coupon and give me the receipt. But when I go out to pump the gas I mistakenly pick up the E-85 nozzle, then put it back. Now the 87-octane nozzle won’t pump. I walk back it and do the transaction over.

Me: Do any other people use this discount coupon? How do they do it?

He: Yep. They just pay ahead of time.

Overall, I think I saved forty-five cents with the discount. I have only one question: How do other people do this? Or is it just me?

It’s me, isn’t it?

WINGSPREAD Ezine for September, 2022


“Spreading your wings in a perplexing world”

September 2022                                                          James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this ezine with anyone. Thank you.

Contents

• New story
• This month’s new puzzler and BOOK GIVEAWAY!
• Writer’s Corner
• How to purchase Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying
• Wisdom (football and otherwise)
Wingspread Ezine subscription information

****************************************

 New (true) story: Egg McMuffin Miracle

After breakfast we get Calvin’s attention when we start packing up his stuff to take to Goodwill. “Hey! What’re you doing!”

“Calvin, we need to begin moving you out.” He lapses into an angry silence . . .

To read more, click here:   https://jimhurd.com/2022/08/31/egg-mcmuffin-miracle/

(*Please leave a comment on the website. Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler

You were kidnapped and dropped off by helicopter in the middle of a deserted island. The island is 10 miles long and only 100 yards wide. 500-foot cliffs all around and no chance of escape. But your captors were considerate: they left you a large jug of water, a flashlight, a box of matches, and a blanket.

That cold night, a flash of lightning lights up the sky and strikes one end of the island, starting a fire. Worse, a strong wind is blowing the fire straight toward you!

Question:  How do you save yourself from the fire?

Email the correct answer to hurd@usfamily.net  and you’ll be entered in a drawing for a FREE ENDORSED COPY of my book, Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying!

Email your puzzler answer, including your email address, to hurd@usfamily.net. I will collect all the correct answers and randomly select one name to win an endorsed copy of Wingspread. You must submit your answer by September 30. I’ll email the winner to ask for your postal mailing address and then mail you the book. (Answer next month.)

Last month’s puzzler: 

Recall: On the back of the old $10 bills there was a depiction of the United States Treasury Building. And in front of the Treasury Building, there is a car. (When they printed the new bills, they took the car out.) 

The puzzler question was, what make and model of car was it and we gave a hint that it was at least 50 years old. We warned you that you’d need to do some research.

Answer: A 1926 Hupmobile. No one has ever heard of a Hupmobile! But there it is. 

Writers’ Corner

BLESSED UNBELIEVER is coming out!

Wipf and Stock will publish BLESSED UNBELIEVER (provisional title). next summer. (I’ll let you know about launch party and book signings.) One question the novel raises: Have you ever made a dangerous, unwise decision, then felt Grace calling you back? Email me at hurd@usfamily.net and I’ll publish your answer in the October Wingspread Ezine.

Book teaser: Sean loses his father, his best girlfriend, his life dream, and finally, his faith. But how can he be a good atheist, especially when he’s stuck at Torrey Bible Institute? He can’t see it, but grace is coming . . .

Tip of the month: Your grammar, punctuation, and spelling must be consistent. Microsoft Word has a powerful search engine to help you. For example you can search for the paragraph symbol by using control-caret-p (^p). Any digit (^$). Oxford commas (, and) and many other searches. Especially useful if you wish to make global changes to maintain consistency in your usages. For instance, if you wish to change British spelling (recognise) to English spelling, you can do a “search and replace” to replace “recognize” with “recognize.”

Word of the Month:  SYNOPSIS: A short summary of your whole piece in only a page or two. These can be hard to write!

Buy James Hurd’s Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying  How childhood (Fundamentalist) faith led to mission bush-piloting in South America—and Barbara. Buy it here:  https://jimhurd.com/home/  (or order it at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc.) 

See pics here related to Wingspread: Of Faith and Flying: http://www.pinterest.com/hurd1149/wingspread-of-faith-and-flying/

Follow “james hurd” on Facebook, or “@hurdjp” on Twitter

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD Ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

It’s almost fall and football time! Here’s some football wisdom for you:

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” 
– John McKay / USC 

“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.” 
– Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

Ohio State’s Urban Meyer on one of his players: 
“He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”

How is the Kansas football team like an opossum? 
They play dead at home and get killed on the road. 

“Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football “. . . 

– John Heisman, first football coach at Rice 

“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.” 
– Frank Leahy / Notre Dame 

“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.” 
– Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State 

“Football is NOT a contact sport. Dancing is a contact sport.” Football is a collision sport. 
– Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State 

“I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s” 
– Alex Karras / Iowa

These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to four-letter words:

  • “He had delusions of adequacy ” – Walter Kerr
  • “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill
  • “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. – Clarence Darrow
  • “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
  • “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”- Ernest Hemingway about William Faulkner
  • “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here” – Stephen Bishop
  • “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. – Paul Keating
  • “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
  • “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
  • “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts . . . for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
  • “He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

Spread your wings and fly this month!

WINGSPREAD Ezine for August 2022


“Spreading your wings in a perplexing world”

August 2022                                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Writer’s Corner (and my new novel)
  • How to purchase Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying
  • Wingspread E-zine subscription information

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 New story: “Full Circle”

Things happen we can’t explain. Sometimes God disappoints. This is one such story.

November 1941. When I was seven months old, my dad and mom contracted with Sudan Interior Mission, packed me into their black 1939 Ford fastback, and sped like an arrow three thousand miles across the U.S. to New York where they waited to sail to Africa. But before Christmas came, the Japanese savaged Pearl Harbor and America plunged into WWII. Hostile German submarines were sinking ships like stones, so the ship lines scratched all Atlantic passengers sailing with young children. . .

To read more, click here:   https://jimhurd.com/2022/08/11/full-circle-miracle/

(*Please rate the posting, or leave a comment on the website. Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler

(Thanks to “Click & Clack,” the Tappet Brothers):

On the back of the old-style $10 bill is a representation of the United States Treasury Building in our fair city of Washington, D.C.  In front of that building, there is a car. You can’t tell whether it’s parked or moving, but it is a car. The question is this: What year and make of car, is it?

And here is a hint. Anyone who is looking at the back of a new $10 bill right now, is not seeing a car. They removed it in the new design. But in the old design, there is a car in the street. And this car is way more than 50 years old. (This puzzler might entail a bit of research.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Recall that the Reds, the Grays, the Blues, and the Blacks have a round-robin tournament wherein each team plays each other team once, for a total of six games. The Blacks won more games than the Blues, and the Grays lost more games than the Blues. The Reds tied the Blacks, the only tie in the tournament. Who won the game of the Reds versus the Blues?

The Reds beat the Grays. The table lists the winners of each matchup:

 RedGrayBlueblack
Red xRedRedTie
GrayRed xBlueBlack
BlueRedBlue xBlack
BlackTieBlackBlack x

Buy James Hurd’s Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying.

How childhood (Fundamentalist) faith led to mission bush-piloting in South America—and Barbara. Buy it here:  https://jimhurd.com/home/  (or order it at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc.) 
See pics here related to Wingspread: Of Faith and Flying: http://www.pinterest.com/hurd1149/wingspread-of-faith-and-flying/

Follow “james hurd” on Facebook, or “@hurdjp” on Twitter

Writers’ Corner

I asked, what’s the greatest short story you’ve ever read? Here are some good ones:

  • Nathaniel Hawthorne, “The Hollow of the Three Hills”: A horror story of a woman’s regret without redemption.
  • Arthur Conan Doyle, “The Hound of the Baskervilles”: Deception and death on the English moors. (A longish short story)
  • Jack London, “To Build a Fire”: Tragic adventure of a traveler in the artic. He almost got the fire built . . .

Upcoming novel: Blessed Unbeliever (provisional title)

News! I contracted with Wipf & Stock to publish Blessed Believer! (Release date as early as summer, 2023.) I’ll let you know when and where it is available.
Sean loses his father, his best girlfriend, his life dream, and finally, his faith. But how can he be a good atheist, especially when he’s stuck at Torrey Bible Institute? He can’t see it, but grace is coming . . .

Tip of the month:

If you are using a poem or a paragraph from something published before 1925, don’t worry—it is in the public domain. Otherwise, you may need to track down the copyright holder and ask permission.

Word of the Month:  PLOT ARC

The way your story must unfold. The simplest plot arc is: Setup, Confrontation, Resolution.

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/wingspread-ezine/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom:

Words women use and their meanings:

Disclaimer: This is a stereotype. And it is a biased, male point of view. But for many of us, it may have a familiar ring. Women undoubtedly would have a longer list of “male” words.

Fine                                       Not fine

Good                                    Bad

Nothing                               Something

Doesn’t matter               Matters

Whatever                           I don’t think so

Whatever you want      You’d better think about what I want

You decide                        You better already know what I want

Will you handle this?   You’d better not screw it up

You can do it                    But I reserve the right to offer suggestions

World’s worst puns. Please do not unsubscribe me!

  • Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
  • What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.  
  • If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price. 
  • Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on. 
  • I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.  
  • Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.  
  • How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.  
  • I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough. 
  • I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it. 
  • When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stair. 
  • Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.” 
  • Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence. 
  • I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find. 
  • I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.  
  • What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.  
  • I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.” 
  • What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self. 
  • Finally, “I hate punsters! They should be drawn and quoted!”

WINGSPREAD Ezine for July, 2022


“Spreading your wings in a perplexing world”

July 2022                                                            James P. Hurd

Please “like” this site, email it or reblog it, and share it with anyone. Thank you.

Contents

  • New story: Harold and Darla
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Writer’s Corner
  • WINGSPREAD E-zine subscription information

*****************************************

 New story: Harold and Darla (Excerpt from my forthcoming novel, Blessed Unbeliever):

TBI’s Dean Harold Bledsoe grated on Darla Dickenson like fingernails on a blackboard. At the dean’s weekly consultation, French kissing came up. She cleared her throat and flashed a stiletto stare straight through Bledsoe. “I talk to the girls but you never talk to the boys. Why don’t you support me? And they don’t just walk around the block; they linger in the alcoves. That’s your responsibility.”

Ah yes—lingering. Couples should never linger anywhere—alcoves, the dark balcony of Moody-Sankey Auditorium, anywhere. Too much temptation . . .

To read more, click here:   https://jimhurd.com/2022/07/16/harold-dates-darla/

(*Please leave a comment on the website and share the website with your friends. Thanks.)

This month’s puzzler

The Reds, the Grays, the Blues, and the Blacks have a round-robin tournament wherein each team plays each other team once, for a total of six games. The Blacks won more games than the Blues, and the Grays lost more games than the Blues. The Reds tied the Blacks, the only tie in the tournament. Who won the game of the Reds versus the Blues? (Answer next month.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Clue #1 – The person who makes it doesn’t need it.
Clue #2 – The person who buys it doesn’t use it.
Clue #3 – The person who uses it doesn’t know it.
What is it?

The answer: A coffin.

Writers’ Corner

Watch for my upcoming novel, Blessed Unbeliever(provisional title):

Sean loses his father, his best girlfriend, his life dream, and finally, his faith. How can he be a good atheist, especially when he’s stuck at Torrey Bible Institute? He can’t see it, but grace is coming . . .

Tip of the month: When writing a novel, number your chapters. Then make a separate list of titles for each numbered chapter. Write a sentence or two about what’s in each chapter: significant events, places, and people. This will be helpful in keeping things straight chronologically and logically. Also helpful in finding a specific spot in the novel when you are editing and revising.

Word of the Month:  Epigram:   a short saying or remark expressing an idea in a clever or surprising way. Frequently these can stand at the beginning of a chapter. It is one of many devices to add variety to your writing.

Your turn:

What is the best, greatest short story you’ve ever read? Why did you like it?
(I’ll publish all responses in next month’s ezine.)

Buy James Hurd’s Wingspread: A Memoir of Faith and Flying How childhood (Fundamentalist) faith led to mission bush-piloting in South America—and Barbara. Buy it here:  https://jimhurd.com/home/  (or order it at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc.) 

See pics here related to Wingspread: Of Faith and Flying: http://www.pinterest.com/hurd1149/wingspread-of-faith-and-flying/

Follow “james hurd” on Facebook, or “@hurdjp” on Twitter

Wisdom:

• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

Subscribe free to this Ezine

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this WINGSPREAD Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.