Tag Archives: Ezine

Wingspread Ezine for May, 2024


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
May, 2024                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever now available
  • This month’s story: “Trouble in Paradise”
  • This month’s puzzler
  • WINGSPREAD Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: Notice dialogue, description and metaphor used by other writers. These can be adapted for your own writing.

Word of the month: SCABROUS.    Indecent, salacious. (from “scabs”). “He began receiving scabrous publications.”

Question for you:  What is the best novel you’ve ever read and why? (I’ll publish some answers in our next ezine.)

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Why did Sean, who received his Christian teaching with his mother’s milk, turn his back on faith and walk away? But unbeknownst, grace pursued.

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

New story

I remember telling myself, Wow, Eve! The big green snake was scary, but he really talked sense. I ate the fruit and I didn’t die. Anyway, God loves me so much I’m sure one piece of fruit is no big deal for him.

Shortly after we’d arrived in the park God told us, “Enjoy, celebrate, but don’t eat any fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil or you’ll die.” (Adam and I referred to the tree as “the TKGE.”)

I felt so happy when I walked over to the vegetable garden, my bare feet sinking into the most, fresh-smelling soil. I asked Adam, “If God loves us, why would he deny us fruit that looks so good?”

Adam says, “I don’t know; he has his reasons, I guess. Maybe it’s a test. Anyway there’re so many other good trees.”

“Yeah, but I wonder if the TKGE fruit looks different. There must be something special about it.”

“Maybe, but I’m busy here with the garden, so let’s talk about it later.” (In those special days, guys grew and ate green, leafy vegetables.) . . .  To read more, click here:  https://jimhurd.com/2024/04/30/trouble-in-paradise/

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

                                   Windows on our beautiful world

This month’s puzzler

 (Thanks to Car Talk puzzler archives.) Three guys check into a motel in the middle of nowhere. They’re running from the law and they have to lay low for a night. They approach the front desk clerk and he tells them that one room will be $30. This is the cheapest motel ever. 

They are really strapped for cash so they decide to share one room. They each give the clerk $10 and then they go to the room. 

After they leave, the clerk realizes that he overcharged them. They were having a special on rooms, and the price was supposed to be $25, not $30. So, he gives the bellboy $5 and asks him to return this to the three guys, since he overcharged them. 

So the bellboy takes the $5, but as he’s heading to the room, he thinks to himself, “Well, there are three guys, and $5. They won’t be able to split this evenly, so I’m going to keep $2, and give them $3.” He says to them, “Here’s $3. You were overcharged for the room.” And they say, “Thank you very much.” He leaves, having pocketed the $2.

So here is the question. 

They each spent $10 to start off with. Then they each get back $1. So they each spent $9 on the room. And 9 times 3 is 27. Plus the $2 that the bellboy stole. That all equals $29. 

So, what happened to the other dollar? Since they originally spent $30?

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD ezine.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

You recall the guy had two girlfriends—one in Brooklyn and one in the Bronx. So, which one should he visit? The trains to Brooklyn and the Bronx run equally often—every 10 minutes, so he figures if he randomly arrives at the station, he should have equal time with each girl. But that isn’t what happens. Nine out of ten times he ends up going to Brooklyn. So, what is happening with these ten-minute trains? 

And here is the answer. Yes, the trains ran equally often, every 10 minutes. That is true. But the schedule was such that the Bronx train would always arrive one minute after the Brooklyn train. So, when the guy would get to the station and go down the steps to the platform, unless he got in there during that one minute window between the Brooklyn train and the Bronx train, he would always take the Brooklyn train because it always arrived first. So he would get on whichever train arrived first. And that was almost always the Brooklyn train. 

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

Who knew? It was Shakespeare who invented these common words: accommodation, all-knowing, amazement, countless, dexterously, dislocate, dwindle, frugal, indistinguishable, lackluster, laughable, premeditated, star-crossed

Some wise sayings to celebrate spring:

  1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
  2. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
  3. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
  4. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
  5. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.
  6. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
  7. If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”
  8. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
  9. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
  10. I run like the winded.
  11. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
  12. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”
  13. I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
  14. When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”
  15. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

Wordplay — ideas for marketing signage.

  • Signage for an Electrician’s truck:
    Let us remove your shorts.
  • Signage for a curtain delivery truck:
    Blind man driving.
  • Signage for a Podiatrist’s office:
    Time wounds all heels.
  • Signage for a Septic Tank Truck:
    Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels
  • Signage for an Optometrist’s Office:
    If you don’t see what you’re looking for,
    You’ve come to the right place.
  • Signage for a Plumber’s truck:
    We repair what your husband fixed.
  • Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
  • Signage for a Tire Repair Shop:
    Invite us to your next blowout.
  • Signage for a Maternity Room door:
    “Push. Push. Push.”
  • Signage for a Car Dealership:
    The best way to get back on your feet—miss a car payment.
  • Signage for a Muffler Shop:
    No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
  • Signage for a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
    Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
  • Signage for a Shoe repair store:
    We will heel you
    We will save your sole
    We will even dye for you
  • Signage for an Electric Company:
    We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time
    However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.
  • Signage for a Restaurant:
    Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.
  • Signage for a Funeral Home:
    Drive carefully. We’ll wait.
  • Signage for a Propane Filling Station:
    Thank Heaven for little grills.
  • Signage for a Radiator Shop:
    Best place in town to take a leak.

My work here is done. . . .

WINGSPREAD for April, 2024


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
April, 2024                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this WINGSPREAD Ezine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever now available
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: You can spin a tale that exists only in your head. But if you’re talking about a historic, known place, character or event, you’d better research it and get your facts right. Most of your readers won’t notice or care, but there’s that one that will find the error, then publish your mistake far and wide on Facebook.

Word of the month: PROP BET. Short for “proposition.” Propping is making a bet on something the bookmakers usually don’t take bets on. For instance, betting on the number of free throws in a basketball game.  

Question for you:  Writing a novel takes writing skill and great research. But it also takes imagination. You must seduce your reader into believing in locations, events or situations that are unusual, spun out of thin air. A favorite example: Charles Dickens tries to convince us that the evil groveler, Uriah Heep, is a believable character. How do you fire up your imagination when you write?

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

New story: “Evangelical: What’s in a Word?”

I can’t control what people mean by “evangelical” any more than I can demand that non-English speakers understand my English. A word means what the hearer thinks it means. Meanings of words change. For instance, “gay” used to mean bright and happy, as in “a gay party.” “Cool” used to refer to air temperature. No more. Thus, I can never guarantee other people will accept my parochial definition of “evangelical.” It used to be that people thought a fundamentalist was an evangelical on steroids and an evangelical was a fundamentalist on Prozac No more.. Today, “evangelical” means something quite different. . . .

To read more, click here:  https://jimhurd.com/2024/04/08/evangelicalism-whats-in-a-word/

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

This month’s puzzler

(Thanks to Car Talk archives) Many years ago, one of our producers lived in New York. And he was a two-timing guy; he had two girlfriends.. 

One of the girlfriends lived in Brooklyn and the other lived in the Bronx. 

He could never decide which one to visit. He liked both of them equally and decided that he would just leave it to fate. He knew that when he went down to get the train, he would descend the stairs into the subway and pretty soon a train would come. And if it was the Bronx train, he’d get on the train and go visit the girl in the Bronx. If it was the Brooklyn train, he’d get on and visit the girlfriend in Brooklyn. And what made it great was that the trains ran equally often, every 10 minutes.

So he decided that he would go down to the train at random times during the day or night. He didn’t know the schedules of these trains, but he did know that every 10 minutes there would be a Brooklyn train, and every 10 minutes there would be a Bronx train. He figured his chances are 50/50, either way. 

However, he finds himself going to Brooklyn 9 out of 10 times. Even though the trains run equally, every 10 minutes to each location, and he chooses random times to go down to the train, he ends up 9 out of 10 times going to Brooklyn. 

Why was this happening?

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

What word has three sets of double letters? And what word has two H’s back to back? There might be a bunch of answers to this one. 

The first one is the word ‘bookkeeper’! b.o.o.k.k.e.e.p.e.r! Love that word. There may be others out there, but this one is the one we were looking for. 

And for the second word, the answer is, ‘withhold’. Two H’s in that word. And I’m sure there are many more out there, especially if people use Google. But these two were the ones we were looking for.

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

Wisdom

Strategies of an avid reader

Will Rogers on aging:

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft , , , Today it’s called golf.

 Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known. Some of his sayings:

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men:

The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation.

The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.

He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

WINGSPREAD for March, 2024


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
March, 2024                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this Ezine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever  available
  • New story: “Pitch Perfect”
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Writer’s Corner

This month’s writing quote: “If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.” Elmore Leonard

Tip for writers: Begin your story in media res. You do not have to “begin at the beginning.” Try starting your story just before or just after the peak of the action. Example: “I’m not dead! But I have no idea what happened.” This hooks the reader. Then, go back and start at the beginning.

Word of the month: OBLIQUE DIALOGUE. Good dialogue makes a good story. It should sound natural, though. Just statement-response, statement-response gets stilted and boring; it doesn’t sound natural. Oblique dialogue means that the response is oblique; not just a simple response. For example—Kathy: “I wonder when Mom will get home.” Bill: “I worry about her being gone so much.”   Another—Kathy: “Do you think this dress makes me look fat?”  Bill (a wise husband): “I think you have great taste in clothes.” Notice he doesn’t directly answer the question.

Question for you:  How to overcome writer’s block?

  • Get a list of “prompts” and write briefly on several of them.
  • Take a piece you’ve written and try to condense into just 100 words.
  • Ask “what if?” For instance, what if a character is carrying a dark secret? What if she were born in a different town?
  • Mine your own life for people and events that you can use to transform your writing.
  • Freewrite. Just start writing. The only rule is do not stop.

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

New story: Pitch Perfect

A normal smoggy day at Chino airport. I’d just taken off with my student, Stan, whom I was checking out in the Taylorcraft.

The takeoff was normal, but after we leveled off, our increasing speed tended to force the nose up.

“Trim the nose down, Stan.”

“I am trimming down.”

“Trim down more.”

“I am!”

“Give me the controls.”

I grabbed the dual control wheel and it just about hit me in the face! The airplane was trying mightily to pitch up. . . .

To read more, click here  https://jimhurd.com/2024/03/09/pitch-perfect/

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

This month’s puzzler

(Thanks to Car Talk puzzler archives.)
A friend of mine who works at a bank was doing her accounting duties. She noticed that there was a balloon payment coming up and she said, “Well, that’s interesting. Balloon. b.a.l.l.o.o.n. There are two sets of double letters in that word. Hmm.”

And so she thought to herself, is there a word in the English language that has three sets of double letters in a row? And as I was working on this one, I came across a word that has two H’s in it, back to back. 

So the puzzler has two parts. What word has three sets of double letters in it? And what word has a double H?

Now, there may be 2500 answers to this one, I know. Just have fun with it. 

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Recall Uncle Enzo had 11 antique cars and his will specified: one-half of them should go to his oldest son, one-fourth to his middle son and sixth of them to his youngest son. How will they divide them up?

Then Uncle Vinny shows up with his car and he says, “Look, I will lend you my car.” So, once he lends them his car, they have 12 cars.

So, now with 12 cars, 6 of them go to the oldest son. That would be half. A fourth of the cars, or 3 cars, go to the middle son, and a sixth of the cars, or 2 cars, go to the youngest son. That leaves only one car.

Then, Vinny takes his car back. The split has happened the way Uncle Enzo wanted it to, because 6, 3 and 2 make 11. 

Fractions are fun, right?

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe free to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive an article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “Unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

Wordplay — thoughts on modern era marketing signage

Signage for an Electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts

Signage for a curtain delivery truck: Blind man driving

Signage for a Podiatrist’s office: Time wounds all heels

Signage for a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

Signage for an Optometrist’s Office: If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.

Signage for a Plumber’s truck: We repair what your husband fixed. Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

Signage for a Tire Repair Shop: Invite us to your next blowout

Signage for a Maternity Room door: Push. Push. Push.”

Signage for a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet—miss a car payment.

Signage for a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

Signage for a Veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Signage for a Shoe repair store: We will heel you and save your sole, we will even dye for you.

Signage for an Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.

Signage for a Restaurant: Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

Signage for a Funeral Home:: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.

Signage for a Propane Filling Station: Thank Heaven for little grills.

Signage for a Radiator Shop: Best place in town to take a leak.

And—last but not least—Signage for another Septic Tank Truck: Caution—This Truck is full of Political Promises.

When I fed the poor they called me a saint. When I asked why they were poor, they called me a Communist.                —Bishop Dom Helder Camara of Recife, Brazil

Wingspread Ezine for February, 2024


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
February, 2024                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: Rabbit trails. Wonderful paragraphs, or even chapters, that interrupt the narrative but may enrich the story. (E.g., in Les Miserables Victor Hugo interrupts the narrative by inserting four chapters of deep, miasmic description of the extensive sewer system under Paris.) How does a writer get away with this—the modern reader may lose interest if the author abandons the narrative. Some answers: 1. Break up these interruptions into smaller bits. 2. Insert some narrative into the diversion. 3. Never put a diversion in the first chapter of the book. 4. Include a protagonist or main character in the diversion. 5. Explain to the reader the purpose of the diversion. 6. Know that some readers may skip over a rabbit trail to get on with the dominant narrative. Charles Darwin, in his own family’s reading together, called this skipping “skipibus.” It’s alright; you have my permission.

Word of the month:  REVENANT: One that returns after long absence or after death. E.g., “He thought I was dead; I was a revenant from his distant past.”

Book of the month: LES MISERABLES. Victor Hugo. 1862. Translated by Charles Wilbour. Modern Library: New York. 1200 pages. A vast narrative set in Paris and its environs in the early 1800s. Fleeing from police inspector Javert, the convicted thief Jean Valjean robs a kind bishop who has sheltered him, but the bishop refuses to turn him over to the authorities. Valjean resolves to amend his life. He adopts little Cossette, daughter of a prostitute. Javert pursues them but at the insurrection barricades, Valjean saves Javert’s life. When Cossette falls in love with Marius Valjean hates him for stealing him away from her. And yet, Valjean saves Marius’ life, delivers him to precious Cossette, and as his own life ends, endows the happy couple with great wealth.

Question for you:  How do you personally overcome writer’s block? I’ll put some of your responses in the next Wingspread.

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

New story: “A Letter to my Fourteen-Year-Old Self: You are not Weird”

It’s too late for me, so you ask Grandpa Anderson what it was like building his tarpaper shack on the South Dakota prairie. Or ask him how he survived the death of his two young boys (your uncles), Jamie and Calvin. Grandpa and Grandma won’t be around forever, and after they’re gone you’ll long to be able to ask them questions. Ask them now. . . . To read more, click here  https://jimhurd.com/2024/02/06/a-letter-to-my-fourteen-year-old-self-you-are-not-weird/

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

This month’s puzzler

(Thanks to “Car Talk Archives”) Many years ago, we had an uncle named Enzo. We only vaguely remember him. We were very young. Anyway, he went back to Italy. But before he went, he had 11 antique cars here. Each of them had a value of about 500 bucks. This was a while ago. 

So, when our Uncle Enzo died, he left a very interesting will. His will said that his 11 cars be divided among his three sons. But he wanted the oldest son to get more of his estate, due to his age. 

Half of the cars would go to the eldest son. One fourth of the cars to the middle son. And one sixth of the cars to the youngest son. 

So after the reading of the will, everyone was puzzled. Because there are 11 cars, and 11 is a prime number, it cannot be divided in halves, fourths or sixths. 

So just as everyone is scratching their heads not knowing what to do, our Uncle Vinny shows up in his 1962 Chevy Bel Air and says, “Don’t worry. I know what to do. I can help with my car.”

And the puzzler is, how do they do it?

Good luck.
 

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

“Crusty” the mechanic had a little test to check out how good a car’s engine was. So, what was Crusty doing under the hood?

This little test is something he could do with his eyes closed. He didn’t even have to look at the engine. In fact, he often did this with his eyes closed so as not to be distracted by anything else. 

What he was doing was disconnecting the coil wire so the engine would crank, but it wouldn’t start. It was a kind of compression test. So he was listening for how the engine would crank and whether or not it would crank evenly. So as every piston came up on its compression stroke, he would hear the cadence of the engine. Cool, huh?

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

Joyce Johnson said: Artists are nourished more by each other than by fame or by the public. To give one’s work to the world is an experience of peculiar emptiness. The work goes away from the artist into a void, like a message stuck into a bottle and flung into the sea.

He who has a “why” can bear any “how.” Nietzsche

The more often a man feels without acting, the less he will be able ever to act, and, in the long run, the less he will able to feel.   C.S. Lewis

The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean. Robert Louis Stevenson

He was too cowardly to do what he knew to be right, as he had been too cowardly to avoid doing what he knew to be wrong.                  Charles Dickens

WINGSPREAD for January, 2024


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
January 2024                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever now available
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: If someone hands you a MS and asks you to “look it over and tell me what you think,” never accept it–they may merely be looking for encouragement. Instead, ask them how much and what kind of critique do they want you to give? Developmental ideas? Revision? Copyediting? Plot? Characters? Chronology?

Word of the month:  DOOMSCROLLING: To spend excessive time online scrolling through news or other content that makes one feel sad, anxious, angry, etc. (From Webster’s Dictionary) “I’ve got to stop doomscrolling late at night: I can’t fall asleep.”

Question for you:  What three books would you want with you if you were stranded on a small island? (I assume no cellphone.) I dunno. Maybe, the Bible (good stories, great plot, greatest self-help book), some C.S. Lewis and perhaps Webster’s dictionary.

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold. *Note: If you’ve read this, please recommend it to others. Thanks.

New story: “We Tell Ourselves Lies”

Classic self-deception—I talked myself into a lie so that I could fulfill an intense desire that would work against my long-term interests. The experience shook me. Immediately afterward I repented and my resolve stiffened. But why did I even give myself permission?

Self-deception (SD) is so common. People say all the time—“I know I shouldn’t but… It’s only this one time… I’ll quit tomorrow…. Rules are for other people… I can drive over the speed limit because I’m more skillful (or intelligent)… It won’t hurt anybody….”

Even statisticians play the lottery and believe they’ll win, although they know that statistically they’ll lose money. People say, “I’ll stop smoking tomorrow,” and mean it, but no real intention, no plan, and the next day, the conviction fades.. . .

To read more, click here  https://jimhurd.com/2024/01/16/we-tell-ourselves-lies/

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

This month’s puzzler

(Credit to “Car Talk Puzzlers”)

Do you all remember Crusty? He was one of our old mechanics from way back in the day. Crusty used to work for us, before we were accredited… 

From time to time, people would bring cars into the garage and ask us to check them out because they were thinking of buying this particular car. And Crusty had a particular process he would use to pre-screen these cars.

He would do something rather simple. He would open the hood of the car and fiddle around under there. And then he would look up at the owner and say, “Try to start it now.”

The driver would try, but it would not start. 

And then Crusty would duck back under the hood and say, “Okay, try to start it now.”

And the owner would turn the key and it would start right up. 

So at this point, he would say one of two things. It was either, “Leave it and we’ll check it out. But, I think it’s a keeper.” Or it was, “Forget this one. This one is no good. Go look for another car to buy.”

What was Crusty doing under the hood? What was that little test all about?

Good luck.
 (Answer in next month’s Wingspread Ezine.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

The question was what was the disaster some years ago that caused considerable property damage and casualties? And why did people respond by buying pantyhose? 

It was the eruption of Mount St. Helens in Washington State in 1980. The volcanic ash was so fine that it would go right through your car’s air filter and plug up the carburetor, which pretty much all cars had in those days. And pantyhose were fine enough, they had a fine enough weave to them, that if you put them over the air filter, the ash in the air could not get through them. 

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

Be the reason someone sees there is still hope in the world.

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.    Lewis Carroll

WINGSPREAD Ezine for December, 2023


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
December 2023                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Writer’s Corner
  • Blessed Unbeliever now available
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: Writer’s block? If you don’t have a good idea for the plot of your novel, write a short story. If no ideas for a short story, find a list of “writers’ prompts.” Or just start freewriting, for instance, “Why I can’t find good writing ideas . . . Everyone has a good story in them; you just have to Heimlich it out.

Word of the month:  SKIPLAGGING. Okay; I love this word! In an attempt to get a cheaper airline price to a smaller city, what you do is book to a larger city (with a cheaper price), but be sure your flight makes a stop in your smaller city. When it stops in your true destination, the smaller city, you just get off and walk away. Skiplagging. (I don’t think the airlines like this very much.)

Book of the Month: The Complete Father Brown Stories. G.K. Chesterton. Penguin Classics. 2012. Round-faced Father Brown, Chesterton’s loveable, dumpy Catholic priest, is also a stiletto-sharp detective. If there is a murder in a small English town, Brown seems to miraculously show up. Even in the face of Scotland Yard’s objections, he jumps in with his analytical powers, ministering justice but also offering forgiveness and grace. Father Brown Video series can be found on BritBox.

Question for you:  If you were, like Napoleon, banished to a small island alone, what three books would you take with you and why?

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

New story: Lone, Wandering, but Lost?

How can some migrating birds find their way from New York to Chile while I can get lost three blocks from home? I’ve had trouble navigating all my life—missing exits on the freeway, getting lost on cross-country flights, even walking out of a downtown store and turning north instead of south. What’s up? Am I just not paying attention? . . .

To read more, click here: Lone, Wandering, but Lost? | Wingspread (jimhurd.com)

Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

This month’s puzzler

Some years ago, there was a natural disaster in the United States that took human life and destroyed considerable property. The effects of this catastrophe were experienced by people hundreds of miles away from the devastation site.

Because of this disaster, motor vehicles became inoperable.

However, people who went out and bought pantyhose were able to continue driving.

So, the puzzler is this.

What was the disaster and why did women’s hosiery become important?

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Okay, a 7 letter word in which you can get 9 words from the letters. 

And the answer is the word: Therein. And here are the words:

The, He, There, Her, Ere, In, Here, Rein, Therein (the original word itself)

Sam reported that he found TWO words with TEN words buried in each: “Islands” and “seasons.” Can you find the buried words?

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Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

They say that marriages are made in Heaven….
….But then, so are thunder and lightning.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food….
….He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

The only flair I have is in my nostrils.

People who think they know everything….
….Are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Be careful about reading health books….
….You might die of a misprint.

Johnny, where’s your homework?….
….Still inside the pencil.

I like local jokes….
….They’re right up my street.

I felt uncomfortable, driving into the cemetery….
….The GPS declared, “You have reached your final destination.”

Children Are Quick: 

TEACHER: Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

___________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

_________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)

____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

_________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

_________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

______________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand…..

_____________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mum is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER:  Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.

Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

______________________________ _____

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

_________________________________

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

WINGSPREAD for October, 2023

Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
October 2023                                                    James P. Hurd

A warm welcome to this month’s Ezine, offered to fellow travelers and especially to fellow writers. Enjoy. (Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.)

Contents

  • Writer’s Corner
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Blessed Unbeliever now available
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: First, write for yourself. Are you satisfied? Trust yourself to tell the story you wish to tell with your own voice.

Word of the month: METAWRITING. Writing about your writing. Especially in nonfiction (and rarely in fiction), we have the Preface. Here, you tell the reader what you’re trying to do, how you are going to do it and why. Metawriting also may give you insight when you revise your writing.

Question for you: How do you know when you’re done writing a book? When you’re satisfied? When your editor/publisher is satisfied? You’re tired of the thing? Deadline? Cannot improve on it?

Are you serious about wanting to write? If so, try writing just a few lines each day (or each week) using the following prompts. Guaranteed to get the creative juices flowing.

Our writing must never be only goal-oriented—directed toward a published product. We must write for practice, for opening our creativity and (dare I say it?) just for fun.

Day 1: Write a story with no dialogue
Day 2: Take something usual and have it do something unusual
Day 3: Write a story that incorporates the color red
Day 4: Select a kitchen item; write from its perspective
Day 5: Write a story about a couple
Day 6: Write something in the absurdist style

Day 7: Write a discovery
Day 8: Write a one-sentence story
Day 9: Write about a surprise gone wrong
Day 10: Write about an animal
Day 11: Write about a holiday
Day 12: Write about a food you (or your character) hate
Day 13: Write about the weather

Day 14: Write about non-romantic love
Day 15: Write about someone who needed to take a deep breath
Day 16: Think about something boring; make it interesting
Day 17: Write a how-to in the second person
Day 18: Write someone’s online dating profile
Day 19: Write about an argument
Day 20: Write about an unopened letter

Day 21: Write about something that scares you
Day 22: Write in a form you normally wouldn’t
Day 23: Write something based on a random word
Day 24: Create a new myth
Day 25: Write about a cryptid (a mythological animal)
Day 26: Write about a piece of clothing
Day 27: Write something that makes you laugh
Day 28: Write a story with only dialogue

New story: Navigating

**Note: I know everybody understands the things I wonder about. So you could consider these a plaintive plea for sympathy and insight.

Why do some birds find their way from New York to Chile while I get lost three blocks from my home? (True story.) I’ve had trouble navigating all my life— missing exits on the freeway, getting lost on cross-country flights, even walking out of a downtown store and turning north instead of south. What’s up? Am I just not paying attention? Is it genetic?

At our apartment in Oak Crest we have a football-field-sized main hallway, 50 yards down each wing. I walk home down the hallway and burst unannounced into Larry and Julie’s apartment. “Hi, Larry and Julie! No, nothing; just dropping by.” Their door is the last door on the right in the east wing. My apartment door is the last door on the right in the west wing. Not only have I done this three times but I don’t know why, or how to avoid doing it next time. . . .

To read more, click here:  https://jimhurd.com/2023/10/04/navigating/

 Leave a comment on the website and share the site with others. Thanks.

This month’s puzzler

(Adapted from Car Talk Puzzler archives)

There is in the English language, a seven-letter word that contains nine words without rearranging any of the letters.  So using pieces of the original word, without changing the placement of the letters, you can form nine words. What is the word?

So the original word has seven letters, but there are nine words buried in this seven-letter word. 

For example, the word ‘garbage’. This word contains these three words:

1. Garb

2. Bag

3. Age

And the word we are looking for is a seven-letter word that has nine words buried in it, including itself. There might even be more . . .

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

This one was very simple. Which of the following words does not belong, and why?

  • Mother
  • Father
  • Cousin
  • Uncle
  • Brother
  • Aunt

And the answer is: the word cousin does not belong. And why? Because it is the only word that does not describe the gender of the family member. Cousin can be either male or female. (Alternative answer: “Aunt” is the only one-syllable word.)

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/  to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD Ezine, sent direct to your email inbox every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad, promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:   
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.  
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!     
FREE PUPPIES  
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.     
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.  
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.  
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.    
WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE .  
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.  
FOR  SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.     

Whoopsie

Oxymorons

Like other kinds of figurative language, oxymorons (or oxymora) are often found in literature. As shown by this list of awfully good examples, oxymorons are also part of our everyday speech. You’ll find common figures of speech, plus references to works of classic and pop culture.

  • absent presence (Sidney 1591)
  • alone together
  • awful good
  • beggarly riches (Donne 1624)
  • bittersweet
  • brisk vacancy (Ashbery 1975)
  • cheerful pessimist
  • civil war
  • clearly misunderstood
  • comfortable misery (Koontz 2001)
  • conspicuous absence
  • cool passion
  • crash landing
  • cruel kindness
  • darkness visible (Milton 1667)
  • deafening silence
  • deceptively honest
  • definite maybe
  • deliberate speed
  • devout atheist
  • dull roar
  • eloquent silence
  • even odds
  • exact estimate
  • extinct life
  • falsely true (Tennyson 1862)
  • festive tranquility
  • found missing
  • freezer burn
  • friendly takeover
  • genuine imitation
  • good grief
  • growing smaller
  • guest host
  • historical present
  • humane slaughter
  • icy hot
  • idiot savant
  • ill health
  • impossible solution
  • intense apathy
  • joyful sadness
  • jumbo shrimp
  • larger half
  • lascivious grace (Shakespeare 1609)
  • lead balloon
  • liquid marble (Jonson 1601)
  • living dead
  • living end
  • living sacrifices
  • loosely sealed
  • loud whisper
  • loyal opposition
  • magic realism
  • melancholy merriment (Byron 1819)
  • militant pacifist
  • minor miracle
  • negative growth
  • negative income
  • old news
  • one-man band
  • only choice
  • openly deceptive
  • open secret
  • original copy
  • overbearingly modest
  • paper tablecloth
  • paper towel
  • peaceful conquest
  • plastic glasses
  • plastic silverware
  • poor health
  • pretty ugly
  • properly ridiculous
  • random order
  • recorded live
  • resident alien
  • sad smile
  • same difference
  • scalding coolness (Hemingway 1940)
  • seriously funny
  • shrewd dumbness
  • silent scream
  • small crowd
  • soft rock
  • “The Sound of Silence” (Simon 1965)
  • static flow
  • steel wool
  • student teacher
  • “sweet sorrow” (Shakespeare 1595)
  • terribly good
  • theoretical experience
  • transparent night (Whitman 1865)
  • true fiction
  • unbiased opinion
  • unconscious awareness
  • upward fall
  • wise fool
  • working vacation

Wingspread Ezine for September, 2023


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
September 2023                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Blessed Unbeliever now available in Australia!
  • Writer’s Corner
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

The novel was written partly for people of nonfaith. I am happy some have read it and commented on it. I am thrilled that Koorong, largest Christian book publisher in Australia, will distribute Blessed Unbeliever.

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: After finishing your rough draft, label each paragraph with an italicized word or phrase at the beginning of each paragraph. For example, Sally meets John. Use WORD “outline” mode and select “first line only.” You will see only the first lines of all your paragraphs, including your italicized labels. Easy now to see the structure of your piece, and to move paragraphs around to create a better flow.

Word of the month: SKIPLAGGING. Refers to air travel. You book a through flight with one stop in-between and you get off at the in-between stop. The airlines don’t like this because sometimes they lose money.

I asked which five books you would take if stranded on a desert island: I dunno, but here are my ideas of books and authors: Bible, Cadfael Chronicles by Ellis Peters, Henry Noewen, Charles Dickens, C.S. Lewis.

New story: The Churched Atheist

Really though—if you’re an atheist you need church as much as believers do! Behold, all the benefits of churchgoing—singing, making friends, potlucks, social service, moral guidance, coming of age rituals (e.g., confirmation, graduation), social intensification rituals (e.g., births, baptisms, weddings, funerals). You may find a loving, accountability group (e.g., Christian AA) that offers hope instead of despair. You will find a good job-seeker network. A support group for life crises. A place to get married or buried. A place that offers meaning to your life. You might even find free babysitting! You can have all these things without abandoning atheism because so much of church life does not demand any belief in the supernatural

Turns out that churchgoing is good for your health. A 2020 study published in the International Journal of Epidemiology reported that church attenders had a 26% reduced risk of dying and a 34% lower risk of heavy drinking. Church attendance was also associated with less anxiety, depression, hopelessness and loneliness. Church attenders lean toward healthy family and community behaviors. You’ll find good mentors who will hold you accountable and give you honest critique. If you’re older, just getting out of the house and doing something—anything—is good for you. If you’re younger, hey, it might be worth going just to make your parents happy! . . .To read more, click here:  https://jimhurd.com/2023/08/31/churched-atheists/   Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

This month’s puzzler

Adapted from Car Talk Puzzler archives

Here is a list of six words.

  • Mother
  • Father
  • Cousin
  • Uncle
  • Brother
  • Aunt

Which one of these words does not belong, and why?
 

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Remember that a man’s son asked about hitting 160 miles per hour in both the Mustang and the BMW. How did the man know that the BMW would not hit that speed, and that the Mustang would?

Because when he looked down at the speedometer, he also looked at the tachometer.  Both of these cars redline at about 6000 RPM. So, at 60 miles an hour which he was traveling at that time, the BMW was doing 3100 RPMs. And he knew that at 120 miles an hour, it would be beyond the redline and incapable of doing 160 miles an hour. 

And the Mustang he was driving at 60 miles an hour was doing less than 2000 RPM. It was running around 1750 at 60 miles per hour. So at that point, he knew that this car could possibly get to 160 without redlining. 

Subscribe free to this Ezine  

Click here https://jimhurd.com/home/ to subscribe to this WINGSPREAD ezine, sent direct to your email inbox, every month. You will receive a free article for subscribing. Please share this URL with interested friends, “like” it on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, etc.

If you wish to unsubscribe from this Wingspread Ezine, send an email to hurd@usfamily.net and put in the subject line: “unsubscribe.” (I won’t feel bad; promise!) Thanks.

Wisdom

How many of these 21st century words do you know?

  • Particularity
  • Intersectionality
  • BLM
  • Cancel culture
  • Othering
  • Rewilding
  • Phubbing
  • Skiplagging
  • Social Media acronyms
    • ICYMI
    • IMHO
    • LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, ROFL, IJBOL
    • FOMO
    • GOAT
    • YOLO

You knew somebody would think of this sooner or later . . .

While there are many, here is one person’s list of the Top 20 Yogi-isms*:
  1. “When you come to a fork in the road…. take it.”
  2. “You can observe a lot by just watching.”
  3. “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
  4. “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
  5. “No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.”
  6. “I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.”
  7. “Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.”
  8. “In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”
  9. “Pair up in threes.”
  10. “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.”
  11. “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
  12. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”
  13. “If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.”
  14. “You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go.”
  15. “Ninety percent of the game is half mental.”
  16. “Never answer an anonymous letter.”
  17. “Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.”
  18. “Take it with a grin of salt.”
  19. “It gets late early out here.”
  20. “I never said most of the things I said.”

*Yogi Berra played catcher for 18 seasons with the New York Yankees.

Happy reading and writing!

WINGSPREAD Ezine for August, 2023


Spreading your wings in a perplexing world
August 2023                                                    James P. Hurd

Please forward and share this E-zine with others. Thank you.

Contents

  • Blessed Unbeliever now available in Australia!
  • Writer’s Corner
  • New story
  • This month’s puzzler
  • Wingspread Ezine subscription information
  • Wisdom

BLESSED UNBELIEVER novel

I am thrilled that Koorong, largest Christian book publisher in Australia, will distribute Blessed Unbeliever.  

Blessed Unbeliever (paper or Kindle version) can be found at Wipf and Stock Publishers, Amazon https://a.co/d/9su5F3o or wherever good books are sold.

Writer’s Corner

Tip for writers: Always have at least two projects going. That way, if you get stumped or bored, you can switch to your other project awhile.

Word of the Month:  LAYOUT: This is everything that is done after your manuscript is finished, revised and edited and before it is published. Things like type font, paragraphing, margins, headings, front and back matter, cover design, back cover endorsements, chapter numbering and headings, and a host of other decisions. Really—it’s a big deal—you might wish to get it done professionally.

Book of the month: TRINITY, Leon Uris. 1976. 749 pages. A sloggy but powerful historical novel about the English/Irish, Protestant/Catholic, North/South conflicts. Requires patience, but it’s worth it. Colonization, famine, war. The tragedy of Ireland.

Question for you: If you were stranded on a desert island and could have only five books, which would you have? I’ll list these books in next month’s WINGSPREAD.

New story: Searching for Mr. Texas

You can’t tell Texas is coming but the mountains and mesas of New Mexico gradually morph into undulating plains as we enter the Panhandle. When we pass the vast ranches and the horse-headed oil donkeys, I wonder, Does the Panhandle produce anything besides oil and cattle? Bold, proud, independent, self-made Texas. She doesn’t even seem to notice we’ve come.

We finally arrive at Uncle John’s ranch, drive through the gate with the cast-iron brand “Derrick Ranch” overhead and park in front of the brick rambler. . . .

To read more, click here:  https://jimhurd.com/2023/07/28/searching-for-mr-texas/  Leave a comment on the website and share with others. Thanks.

This month’s puzzler

(Adapted from Car Talk Puzzler archives)

A very long time ago, back in the day, I was test driving a BMW with a five-speed manual transmission. I had my son Andrew along with me at the time. He was about 12 years old or so. We were heading to Toys-R-Us, or something. We are driving along on the highway. 

So there we are, and he looks over at the speedometer and says, “Gee Daddy, will this thing really go 160 miles per hour?” He always asks this question when we are test driving a car. 

I looked down at the speedometer and the dashboard and then I said, “No, it won’t.”

A week later, he and I were again test driving a car. And this time, we were driving in a Mustang with a five-speed manual transmission. And like always, he looks over and says, “Gee Daddy, will this car do 160? Because that’s what the speedometer says?”

So, I look down at the dashboard and then I say, “Yes, this one will.”

So, the puzzler is, how did I know that?

(Answer will appear in next month’s WINGSPREAD newsletter.)

Answer to last month’s puzzler: 

Recall: It was a beautiful sunny summer afternoon in 1958. And I was driving my new car. I stopped at a stoplight, and a pedestrian noticed I had stopped. 

Then he stepped off the sidewalk and walked right into the front right fender of my car. 

What happened here?

Well, it was 1958. And the car I was driving was a brand new VW Bug. And as we all know, the VW Bugs had the engine in the back, and the trunk space in the front. 

And the pedestrian was blind. So, he was used to hearing the engine in the front of the car. He heard mine, assumed the car was a few feet back from where it was, and he walked right into my car. 

This would not happen these days, for sure. 

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Wisdom

Relationships move at the speed of trust.

Where do bad rainbows go?
Prism. It’s a light sentence, and gives them time to reflect.
(This story is enlightening.)

Minnesota Bible verses:

  1. It is what it is.
  2. What goes around comes around.
  3. It’s all good.
  4. Whatever

Things I learned getting old . . .

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.

10. If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing and wish to continue doing it.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”

19. Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.”

-source unknown.